.....and other random stuff......

Tuesday, April 22, 2014

It's My Party....................

I was browsing through the online TV guide today and I remarked to Husband, “I’m so bored with TV lately!”
After I picked him up off the floor…..he turned to me with a concerned look on his face and said, “Who ARE you? And what have you done with my wife?”
“Why do you say that?” I asked.
He replied, “You’re bored with TV, even your old movies. You turned off Easter Parade for God’s sake! You sit and draw and sketch and paint contentedly for hours on end. Without shredding it and throwing it away. You even LIKE what you’ve done! You go OUTSIDE! Into the SUNSHINE! I repeat, who are you and what have you done with my wife?”

So I told him.

I stopped taking my antidepressants.


Don’t worry, I wasn’t on them for mental issues (I know, surprising isn’t it?)
I was on them because one of the side effects is they diminish hot flashes.
But when I found myself lying in bed at noon looking for a reason to get up and the only thing I could think was, ‘why bother?’ I knew I had to do something.

I think the meds had a boomerang effect on me.
They were MAKING me depressed.
So I weaned myself off and suddenly I have FEELS.
So many FEELS.
I had feelings when I was on them but they were mostly depressing and lonely feelings.
Now I actually feel happy.
Without forcing it.
It’s just there!

I haven’t felt this good in years!
I also cry at the drop of a hat, but after feeling mostly nothing I’m enjoying those feeling too. (I might be the only person who cried the whole time through Billy Crystal’s ‘700 Sundays’ on HBO.)

But it’s better than feeling dull all the time, so I’ll take it.

And I’ll cry if I want to! (Sorry, I couldn’t help myself!)


  1. Medicine is supposed to make you feel better not worse. Good for you for recognizing what the med was doing to you.

  2. I empathize with everything you say. I too was on anti-depressants for reasons other than depression I stopped taking them for the same reasons. They seemed to make me not care about anything . Not a nice feeling. Glad you are feeling better.

  3. Hot Flashes... are not one of life's goodies. Still, there are other things worse. Glad to here you are having so much good time now.

  4. We call them a hot flush here!!! sounds like we chuck it down the loo doesn't it. lol. Glad you are feeling Feelings and feeling better for it :-)

  5. oh, you sound like me. every time i take meds for one thing, they make something else worse! so i try to avoid meds unless absolutely necessary.

    and a good cry isn't bad now and then, it cleans your eyeballs :)

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  7. It didn't come out right the first time. I said power surges and feeling feelings sometimes don't make for a good "marriage." I didn't mean that literally, although I suppose one could take it literally. Ahhh. I think you know what I mean. Your hubby has a good sense of humor and so do you..... I'm glad you are in a happy place right now.

  8. Either google or my computer swallowed my comment! Grrrr, I feel feelings coming on...

  9. What I wanted to say: this is good to know for those of us who still have our hot flashes/flushes (or as we say: up-fliers) ahead of us. And I am glad for your Feelings, that they are with you again. They probably enjoy your humor too.


I appreciate your comments!