It’s late at night.
I’m sitting at my desk working diligently (aka cruising Facebook…) and out of the corner of my eye I spy a movement on the desk.
I watch in horror as he walks along the edge of the desk.
Only inches away from me.
As if he doesn’t have a care in the world.
No, he didn’t just walk, he sauntered!
He swaggered! As if to say, “Ha! I terrify you! And I’m too big to kill! So there!”
My first reaction is a combination of fear and disgust.
I’m so close to him I can see the hair on his legs!
I think of waking Husband but that seems too sissy.
I consider letting him continue on his way, but then I’d know he was OUT THERE…..SOMEWHERE and that idea is just too disturbing.
So I gather up my courage, reach for a napkin and lunge!
I run to the bathroom and shake him out of the napkin into the toilet…..because I have this compulsive need to see that he’s actually THERE. I need to watch him circle the porcelain sea and disappear into the abyss.
I flush three times….just to be sure he doesn’t don his SCUBA gear and work his way back up the pipes.
As I settle back down in my chair triumphant in the knowledge that, once again, the balance of nature is intact....................
I observe a trail of little spots across the desk….…..he was so big he left footprints in the desk blotter!