.....and other random stuff......

Friday, January 30, 2015

PERFECT

This is EXACTLY what I used to say to Husband! (never getting married, never having kids, never buying a 'mommy mobile'...........)
He claims he was duped.

Thursday, January 29, 2015

Wednesday, January 28, 2015

WOYWW

Testing paper weight for postcards (and what my *&$#%* printer will accept!)

Tuesday, January 27, 2015

How to Commit Fraud…or not

The two bookkeepers were young mothers.
They were always complaining about money and their lack thereof. About how expensive everything was. How the kids were just money drains. How their husbands were lazy and didn’t help.
Yadda yadda yadda.

Suddenly, one day we noticed their complaining stopped. And shortly after they stopped complaining they started showing up with new stuff.
New expensive clothes.
New designer purses and shoes.
Jewelry.
At Christmas time they went out on their lunch hours and came back with bags overflowing with all sorts of goodies for their kids.

Their explanation was the lazy husbands had finally gotten jobs. 
Seemed plausible.
This went on for quite some time.

Then just as suddenly their money troubles were back.
Turns out their plan for funding their money scheme was ‘floating’ their credit cards.
But you can only do that for so long until you have to make an actual PAYMENT. Once they maxed out their credit limits they had nowhere else to ‘float’.

I guess they hadn’t really thought it through.

They started borrowing money from anyone and everyone they knew.
Getting deeper and deeper into debt.

They never said which one of them had the ‘light bulb’ moment. But at the time it seemed like a good idea.
They always meant to pay it back…….
After all, they were the bookkeepers.
How hard could it be to pad the numbers here and there and pocket the extra cash?

They got away with it for some time.
I guess they just never thought about the company auditors.

The funniest part of this whole story is when they were caught they were never prosecuted or fired.
They were just demoted to operator (I told you it was the lowest of low jobs in the company, lol) and allowed to keep working.


I assume the company allowed them to keep working so they could pay back what they had embezzled. 
And possibly to save face……if it ever came out that the HUGE COMMUNICATIONS COMPANY had been duped by a couple of high school educated bookkeepers it would have NOT been good for their image! 

Monday, January 26, 2015

Punny Monday

A hungry traveler stops at a monastery and is taken to the kitchens. A brother is frying chips. 'Are you the friar?' he asks. 'No. I'm the chip monk,' he replies.

Friday, January 23, 2015

The Story of Tom

The Setup:
Tom was a young man who, like me, took the job of operator to temporarily pay his living expenses so he could continue his schooling.
He really wasn’t invested in the job. He didn’t like the job (none of us did, actually.) He wasn’t particularly interested in keeping it.
So…….

The Situation:
In the building where we worked there were two offices. One was 24/7. The one where Tom and I worked closed at 11:30 PM. 
That meant at precisely 11:30 PM the people whose shift ended at 11:30 PM would walk out the front door and go home. But those whose shifts continued would walk next door, through a different door, to the 24/7 office and finish their shift there. Once next door the supervisor would do a head count to make sure everyone was there.

The Sting:
The funny thing was, on the nights Tom worked, they were always one person short. They would count heads again and check to see how many people they should have…..and it was always one person short!

They would scratch their heads and mumble among themselves and try and figure out why the count didn’t add up. But it never occurred to them to check the schedule to see WHO was missing!

Granted, there were several hundred people who worked in the office but……those of us who worked the night shifts were usually the same.  As were the supervisors. What I’m saying is we KNEW one another. You’d think after a while they would have caught on…….

But in all the time he worked there they never figured it out! They never caught him.

Rocket scientists they weren’t!!! 

Which could explain why it took them so long to figure out the bookkeepers were embezzling…..but that’s whole ‘nother story…….

Thursday, January 22, 2015