.....and other random stuff......

Monday, February 8, 2016

Punny Monday

What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? - One is heavy and the other is a little lighter.

Friday, February 5, 2016

I Was a Serial Fiancée

I’m apparently not very good at engagements.
I’ve been engaged to be married twice.
Neither time to Husband.

The first time I was nineteen. He was a sweet, naïve young man of traditional upbringing, which meant he held a somewhat unrealistic idea of marriage.
I knew I was in trouble when we went house hunting.
We found a lovely little condo in a serene setting. As we toured the model he described, in minute detail, what our life would be like.
It went something like this:
I would be the dutiful little apron wearing wife standing at the kitchen window as he returned home in the evening from work carrying his briefcase. I’ve NEVER worn an apron! Well, once in ninth grade home-ec because it was a requirement….. AND I worked (so who’s to say he wouldn’t get home first???) AND his job was not one where he toted a briefcase…….first red flag.
I would meet him at the door, still in apron, hand him a martini (he didn’t even DRINK martini’s!) usher him to the bedroom where we would engage in stellar, mind blowing sex! ….second red flag.  (cough cough)
As we cuddled in post booty afterglow he would light up a cigarette (again, he didn’t smoke!) then I would go back to the kitchen to finish preparing the gourmet dinner that I would serve to him by candlelight wearing ONLY the apron.
At this point, as I stared at him in disbelief, I knew I was in serious trouble.
Thus, ended the first engagement………………

The second time, I’m ashamed to admit, I was dazzled by the bright and shiny diamond he put on my finger. Never mind that it was MY money that paid for it. I knew it was a mistake the minute we stepped out of the jewelry store. And as I turned to tell him so, two of our friends rushed up to us and started shrieking and hugging and kissing us in engagement exhilaration. It’s not easy to tell your freshly minted fiancée you don’t want to marry him in front of two enthusiastically squealing friends.
For the next several weeks I tried to convince myself that it would have happened eventually anyway…..great way to go into a marriage, right?
Over the next several months I tried to extricate myself from the situation to no avail. He finally found someone better (the wedding planner, funnily enough) and I escaped.

So when I met Husband I told him I was ADAMENT about NEVER getting married or having children. And I truly thought I felt that way. Playing house was fine but NO engagements or weddings or kids…..ever…….
Until I grew up enough to realize it wasn’t marriage that was the problem it was who I had been planning to do it with.
I still didn’t risk getting engaged, though.

We did it all backwards: bought a house, eloped, then kids and THEN I got the engagement ring….. you know, just in case I really did carry a curse! 

Thursday, February 4, 2016

Tuesday, February 2, 2016

Insights and Ponderings on Art

“It’s hard to know what direction to take when you don’t know where you want to go.”

I’m sure I’m not the first person to say this.

I find myself in this predicament fairly often.
I think it’s because I want to try ALL the mediums, styles and techniques. But I also want to start amassing a body of cohesive work that is identifiable as mine.

At the beginning of the year I felt I needed ‘something’ to help me get beyond this floundering. I Googled all sorts of things but to paraphrase myself, ‘It’s hard to Google what you don’t know you want’.

I finally decided on Carla Sonheim’s “Y” is for Yellow year long class.
Part of the class is to keep a journal. I am NOT by any stretch of the imagination an art journaler. I never have been and I doubt this is going to convert me. But I’m dutifully doing it.
We are supposed to devote two pages of the journal to each letter of the alphabet and fill the pages throughout the year.
Not being a journaler I struggled to come up with an idea for the pages.
Carla suggested for each letter we research artists whose names begin with that letter.
Easy enough.
I’m only up to letter ‘B’ and I’m quite surprised. Not with the artists but with myself!
I’m learning more about myself than the artists I’m researching.
And all this self discovery is pointing me in the direction I want to go!
Who knew?

Isn’t Carla smart? 

Monday, February 1, 2016

Punny Monday

 Why do cows have hooves?  Because they lactose!