Monday, December 30, 2013
Son1 was telling me a story the other day.
I told him to write it down, I want to share it.....
(I have such talented children! ♥♥♥)
Everyone has their thing. David was no different. You remember those 'speak and spell' games that kids had a while back? He was fascinated with that thing. When he got older, he wanted to understand what language the modem was speaking. Those harsh, jagged tones must still call to him today.
Without help from the FBI he likely would have evaded capture forever. No one could put a dial tone to use like this kid could. In the wake of his tampering were hundreds of confused business owners, and even more frustrated Bell North employees.
David was arrested on December 21st, 1993 at a Pizza Hut in Hauppauge NY. In this particular incident he used a phone-ahead method he developed himself to falsify successful payment to the establishment, and nearly walked away with his pepperoni in hand. At the end of the investigation there were more than $25,000 worth of these falsified payments attributed to David, and the team responsible for his capture reports that there were likely much more. Due to his minor status, David was sentenced to 15 years of probationary monitoring, and the court decided in the interest of public safety to deny him access to any modern electronics.
In a recent interview David was quoted "The wires may be gone, but your phone still speaks the same language."
Friday, December 27, 2013
Thursday, December 26, 2013
Wednesday, December 25, 2013
Tuesday, December 24, 2013
Get it? ………hahahahahaha (I crack myself up!)
I often wonder what thoughts inanimate objects have.
I’m sure they have them.
From my experience they are very opinionated little imps.
Each year we decorate the tree and talk about all the ornaments.
Who made them, when they were made or where they came from.
We reminisce about Christmases past and I begin to wonder what memories the shiny little balls I inherited from my parents must have.
Some of them are older than I am.
(I know it’s hard to imagine anything older than me, but try.)
They must have hung on my parents trees through the years even before BigBrother or I came along.
What stories could they tell……..?
All about the time my parents were living in their first apartment, just after my father came back from overseas.
How nice it was to be hanging on a small tabletop tree.
My parents sitting together in the warm glow of the Christmas lights.
Two small packages tied with red ribbon under the boughs.
Then being lovingly packed away in tissue paper……emerging every year to adorn increasingly larger trees.
Children and friends ‘oh-ing and ah-ing’ at their breathtaking shimmeringness.
They are a bit dimmer now.
Slightly worn and dusty.
And every year I wish for a miracle….that they could tell me their stories……………….
Monday, December 23, 2013
Friday, December 20, 2013
Wednesday, December 18, 2013
Tuesday, December 17, 2013
Monday, December 16, 2013
Friday, December 13, 2013
Thursday, December 12, 2013
I feel like Sally Field!
You love me, you really love me!
Well…..someone loves Trashy Tina!
I’m flattered, honored, pleased as punch and tickled pink!
That someone liked her enough to buy her as a Christmas present!
So Trashy Tina, Dumpster Diva is going to her ‘forever home’ for Christmas!
(As much as I tell myself I don’t need the validation……..I do it for myself…..I don’t care about ‘their’ opinion…..blah, blah, blah…..it sure feels wonderful when someone else appreciates your art enough to actually buy it!)
Wednesday, December 11, 2013
Tuesday, December 10, 2013
Over the years wishes come and go.
They change and morph and sometimes even come true.
But sometimes you need to look a little closer to see that they have come true.
When I was about thirteen, I saw an old Susan Hayward movie.
She was a struggling fashion designer who ‘made it big’.
But the part that struck me was how she signed her designs.
All lower case letters ….r a e.
I thought, someday that’s what I’m going to do!
Not the fashion designer part mind you, just the signature, all lower case initials.
I had no idea what I would be signing, but that didn’t seem to matter!
Lo, these many years later I was signing a sketch and that movie popped onto my head.
Shabam! Wish fulfilled!
And I didn’t even realize it until just that moment.
It’s not exactly the fame and fortune I thought it would be, but it still came true.
The moral of this story, be careful what you wish for…..?
Nope, the moral of the story is BE MORE EFFING SPECIFIC WHEN YOU WISH!
Because I forgot to include the fame and fortune part! LOL
Monday, December 9, 2013
I sit down at the computer to look something up. Yay, Google.
But before I do, I think I’ll just take a quick peek at Facebook. (It’s a disease.)
Hours and heaven knows how many links later I finally get up because I either have to go to the bathroom or I’ve been sitting so long I’m getting achy.
As I walk away I realize I never did get around to looking up what I initially sat down for!
Just like going to the grocery store without a list.
You come home with bags full and without the one item you went to purchase in the first place!
Friday, December 6, 2013
Thursday, December 5, 2013
It was a beautiful temperate night in southwest Florida.
We had the all sliders and windows wide open enjoying the cool dry air.
A slight breeze was blowing across the living room where we sat.
Ahhhhh…..winter in Florida! What we pay our taxes for.
As I sat enjoying the evening zephyr gently wafting in……
“Do you smell that?” I asked Husband.
“What?” he questioned.
I should explain: I have what my doctor likes to call ‘nasal acuity’. If I were a DEA dog I’d put my bloodhound brethren to shame. I can detect the subtlest of odors at fifty paces. Husband’s olfactory senses, on the other hand, have died and gone to nose heaven.
He didn’t smell anything.
“It smells like……gas.” I said.
But there is no gas in this city. Only propane tanks for barbeques.
Husband dutifully goes and checks our propane tank.
The next day dawns bright and sunny and once again we throw open all the doors and windows.
I still smell the aroma.
On and off.
But then I notice our neighbor across the canal has painted his dock.
OH! I must have smelled the paint.
Later that evening Husband calls to me from the lanai, “Robin, come here!”
Now I know something must be up, he almost never calls me by my full name.
I rush out to the lanai and he points………
On the outside of the screen are flies.
Not just a handful, not just a few, but hundreds, no thousands of flies.
I’m talking Amityville Horror Movie, there has to be a dead body around here somewhere amount of flies!
They are on Wilson the lime tree, on the arborvitae tree around the corner and all over the pampas grasses.
All over the screens!
And the SMELL!
OMG the smell. What is it? And where is it coming from?
We look under the bushes, under and in the arborvitae. Husband goes and looks around the pampas grass.
Nothing, nada, zilch.
But we know it’s here somewhere, we can SMELL it. (Even Husband can smell it now!)
It was getting dark so we had to give up the hunt. We even had to close the sliders because the smell was getting so pungent.
The next morning Husband (aka Bwana) goes out to continue the search.
I interject here to say that we don’t always trim the pampas grasses as much as they tell you to. We figure it’s a great habitat for the geckos and garden snakes.
It never occurred to me that it was also habitat for other bigger creatures!
Husband finds a tunnel that runs under the tangled mass of pampas grass.
As he reaches into the tunnel he feels something……soft.
A dead opossum.
I handed Husband a pair of surgical gloves and went back inside.
It was a dignified interment, only one in attendance.
Wednesday, December 4, 2013
Tuesday, December 3, 2013
I read an online article recently that said people who curse a lot have higher IQ’s than average.
This is totally opposite of what my father used to say….’only small minds use small words.’
The article said that people who use big words profusely are trying to show off and demonstrate their self worth. (See what I did there….LOL)
Showing off aside, and on the off chance it’s true, here’s what I took away from reading the article…..
Considering how much I curse…………
I’m a F*%^ing GENIUS!
Monday, December 2, 2013
We are sitting around the dining room table, gathered together for Thanksgiving.
It’s unusual for all of us to be together and we are reveling in the comfort and company of family.
One of the boys is telling a story and I’m laughing so hard tears are streaming down my cheeks.
Suddenly I hear my mother quietly say, “You did good” (a phrase she used all the time.)
I have often wished she could see the boys now, grown and handsome, intelligent, engaging and funny.
But when I heard her voice I know she does see them.
And my heart sings.
Friday, November 29, 2013
Thursday, November 28, 2013
Wednesday, November 27, 2013
Tuesday, November 26, 2013
Monday, November 25, 2013
Or should I say what I just finished reading.
Because I couldn’t wait to find out what happened next and couldn’t put it down! Now I’m sad it’s over!
(I always feel that way when I finish a book that has totally involved me.)
All in the Leaves is about a young independent woman, Anna, who just needs a little nudge to build the life of her dreams.
That nudge comes in the form of a tea leaf reading.
And the fun ride starts there.
Anna and her best friend Chloe travel the countryside looking for the perfect venue for their business (I won’t give it away…) and meet an interesting cast of characters.
I won’t let the cat out of the bag, but I’ll just say I thoroughly enjoyed this romp through the UK with my new friends Anna and Chloe!
Friday, November 22, 2013
Thursday, November 21, 2013
Harriet was the kind of kid that always had something better than you did.
HER house was better than yours.
HER mother’s car was better than your mother’s.
HER toys were better than yours.
SHE got a better grade in arithmetic than you did.
HER life was infinitely better than yours.
Yada yada yada………….
It used to drive us all nuts!
But we never said anything to challenge her because in a way we felt sorry for her.
She didn’t have a father.
Her mother worked so she was a latch key kid (before ‘latch key’ was a phrase.) We thought this was the reason for her outlandish lies.
One day when she told the whopper of all whoppers I couldn’t take it anymore.
And I called her out on it.
Her RICH MILLIONARE uncle had died and left all his money to her and her mother.
She was a millionaire!
She kept insisting it wasn’t a lie.
And she could prove it.
She showed us a clipping from the newspaper…………..
It was all about a millionaire related to a local family who had died and left his entire estate to this local family….Harriet and her mother!
The ONE time I decided to call her out on her preposterous lies (and we ALL knew they were lies) the ONE time and it turned out to be true!!
Lesson learned….lesson TOTALLY learned.
Wednesday, November 20, 2013
Tuesday, November 19, 2013
Back in the olden days, during the fuel shortage of the seventies, we heated our house with an airtight stove.
Husband and a friend would go upstate to said friend’s family property with a big ‘ole rental truck and two chain saws.
To cut trees.
They cut enough wood to supply both our families stoves for the winter.
Since moving to a subtropical climate our need for heating has significantly changed.
But Husband likes to keep his hand in the old traditions……
Here’s our ‘cord’ of firewood for the winter!
Just enough for one fire in the fire pit and we’ve satisfied our ‘need’ for the year!
|the drainpipe to the right will give you perspective........|
Monday, November 18, 2013
I was introduced to the thrills of laundry while living in my parents’ home. The washer and dryer were in the basement. The dark, dank, musty, creepy basement. I avoided doing laundry for as long as possible before being forced to go into the bowels of the house.
Then Husband and I moved to The Apartment.
They too had laundry facilities in the basement.
Except this basement was the extreme of basements.
The machines were located at the far end of the building. You had to walk through a myriad of connected rooms to get to them. Dark, unlit, creepy, scary rooms with shadowy corners where who knows what kind of muggers, rapists and axe murderers lurked.
I opted for the Laundromat down the street.
It really wasn’t much better, but at least it wasn’t in a basement!
Then too, I waited until I was out of clean unmentionables before I deemed it necessary to go. (I even bought us extra undies to prolong the task!)
The last time I went to the Laundromat, I found a guy fondling my aforementioned unmentionables as he pulled them out of the dryer.
It was then that Husband came up with the scathingly brilliant idea to get an apartment sized washer and dryer.
(It was written into our lease that this was strictly forbidden.)
But we did it anyway. And to make sure it was undetected we went to extremes to put carpet pieces under and over and around said machines to muffle any telltale noises that might give us away.
These two little mini machines were workhorses. They moved with us to our house and lived a long and meaningful life for our growing family.
The only problem was….with two little boys and a ‘handy’ husband I was constantly doing laundry. The machines could only hold so much.
Then one day the inevitable happened.
We gave them a dignified burial and went off to find new machines.
While we were at the store, the heavens parted, angels sang and the rays of the sun illuminated a ‘Laundry Center’.
A stacked full size washer/dryer.
Husband reconfigured the laundry room and I fell in love.
I wasn’t constantly doing laundry anymore!
Fast forward to the present….when we moved into this house we bought a new washer and dryer.
Let me just say their commercials are total LIES!
These machines have broken down and needed more repairs than all of our previous machines combined!
The washer broke down the first week!
The repairman said it was a bobby pin lodged in the motor.
I never even owned a bobby pin!
Friday, November 15, 2013
Wednesday, November 13, 2013
Friday, November 8, 2013
So, the answer to the ‘what the hell is it?’ question is……….
"This simple engineered cookie dropper works wonders. Just scoop up the dough, press the slide and voila! There is no muss or fuss and your hands never touch the cookie dough. It makes quick work of making cookies. It can also be used for slicing butter or a cheese ball."
Amazon review By DB on March 19, 2012
(I'm actually a little disappointed. I thought it was going to be something much more intriguing! LOL)
Thursday, November 7, 2013
While sifting through the cutlery at the thrift store yesterday I stumbled upon this:
For 25¢ I couldn’t resist.
But I have no idea what it is or what it does.
NO clue! Not even an inkling what it could be.
Please feel free to educate me, or at least give possible suggestions.
Wednesday, November 6, 2013
Tuesday, November 5, 2013
I’ve done something to my thumb. Thumb, wrist, finger…..in that area.
I must have pinched a nerve or something.
It’s numb and hurts at the same time!
It’s been several weeks now and it doesn’t seem to be resolving itself.
I should go to the doctor about it.
But I can’t.
And here’s why.
I have ‘issues’.
Nothing major, just the usual…….aging, haven’t been very diligent about caring for myself, high blood pressure, overweight, cholesterol…..the usual stuff.
PLUS at my last checkup she says I’m working my way towards diabetes.
(Which runs in my family but I can’t blame it entirely on them……)
So what do I do to help myself?
Nothing, of course.
I mean, I did lose weight (which I have now put back on because when I’m in pain I self medicate, and my go to ‘drug ‘of choice is food!)
If I go to the doctor the first thing she’ll say is, “You’ve gained the weight back!” and I’ll feel guilty.
And then she’ll say she wants blood work to check my A1C and tell me I need to go on diabetes meds.
And I’ll feel guilty.
And she’ll tell me to exercise more.
And I’ll feel guilty.
Then she’ll probably tell me to go see specialist about my thumb and it will all cost me more money and the resolution will be, “You pinched a nerve. It needs time to heal. That will be $$$$$, please.”
And I’ll feel guilty.
For not waiting for it to heal on its own, for spending $$$$ unnecessarily, and for being such a wimp!
And that, my friends, is why I won’t go to the doctor.
I can’t take that much guilt!