.....and other random stuff......

Friday, April 16, 2021

My Scale is a Heartless Bitch

 

Need I say more? 
(and NO, that is NOT how much I weigh. This is just for illustration purposes! LOL)

Tuesday, April 13, 2021

Ode to a Dead Pixel

I got a new Kindle

I caved, I bought one

I said that I wouldn’t

But I did, now it’s done

 

It’s small

And convenient

And I like it a lot

BUT it’s got a dead pixel

Right there

On that spot

 

It’s not very big

And I don’t really care

But it’s distracting

And ugly

And it’s always there

 

Right there on the page

On the left hand side

I can’t seem to ignore it

No matter how hard I try

 

I can’t take it back

It won’t go away

So I’ll just have to live with it

Day……after day…….after day……




Monday, April 12, 2021

Friday, April 9, 2021

THE DENTAL SWEEPSTAKES

A fortune in fabulous prizes may go to any one of our lovely patients today.

Let’s welcome our first contestant.

She is a senior who has been a regular patient at our clinic for years. She tells us she regularly flosses and uses our outlandishly expensive, specially formulated toothpaste.

Let’s take a look! 

Open wide!


DING DING DING DING DING

CONGRATULATIONS!!!

You are our grand prize winner!!!!

Let’s see what she’s won, Alex……. 

Two shiny new crowns, a root canal and a bill the size of the annual budget of the Principality Of Liechtenstein!!!!!!

Thank you for playing THE DENTAL SWEEPSTAKES! 

We hope you’ll play again soon! 

Enjoy your prizes!


YAY? 

Tuesday, April 6, 2021

Scathingly Brilliant Idea

I have a million of them, folks! Hang onto your hats!

Wouldn’t it be nice if we could program our bodies like we do our computers?  Not as farfetched an idea as you might think. I mean, our brains are just super computers we haven’t quite figured out yet.

I know someone, somewhere must be working on this. I can’t be the only one who has thought of it. I mean how easy would it be to be able to just type out a bit of code and upload it into our brains?

I guess the problem would be figuring out what ‘language’ our brains speak…..Java, C+, Python, Ruby……  But other than that……lol.

Some examples: Pain issues? Addicted to opioids? Here, upload this code! Pain instantly gone forever!

Having ADHD issues? Trouble concentrating? Boom! Got a code for that!

Cancer? Here’s your code!

We could solve our medical issues, employ THOUSANDS (maybe even millions) of people to write the codes..... others to catalog and file them……code stores popping up all over the world.....(just like cell phone stores.....) I’m sure I’m missing other important facets of this idea but you see where I’m going with it, right?

And the marketing possibilities are endless…..just a matter of reusing some of the old catch phrases like:  “Got codes?”……. “There’s a code for that!”….. “A Code is forever”…… “Codes give you wings!”….. “Just Code it!”……..you get the idea.

We could solve ALL our problems!

Well, okay, maybe not ALL our problems …….and maybe we’d be creating new ones…..never mind…..I guess I haven’t thought this completely through yet………..

Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain! LOL



Monday, April 5, 2021

Friday, April 2, 2021

Peter Clarence

 When I was little BigBro had a parakeet. He named him Peter Clarence. (How we knew it was a ‘he’ I don’t know…....but I digress….)

He was a pretty shade of blue.

And he ‘sang’.  At least that’s what everybody said he was doing.

I guess the reason I’m thinking about Peter Clarence lately is because it’s spring. And the birds are singing their little hearts out…..like, NON-STOP…….at the crack of dawn…….and into the night……

NON-F*%KING-STOP…….

Don’t get me wrong,  I enjoy nature…..and listening to the birds chirping……seeing the other critters doing their springtime rituals.

Mostly…..

I just wish they would confine their amorous antics to a more reasonable time schedule. I mean, I GET that the early bird catches the worm and all but couldn’t they do it a little more QUIETLY at four AM??????



Tuesday, March 30, 2021

Tooth Whitening Ad Gone Wrong

 

 Tooth whitener advertisement gone wrong.....a la Lewis Rossignol style......

Monday, March 29, 2021

Tuesday, March 23, 2021

Moses Supposes

 

Moses supposes his toeses are Roses,
But Moses supposes Erroneously,
Moses he knowses his toeses aren't roses,
As Moses supposes his toeses to be!
Moses supposes his toeses are Roses,
But Moses supposes Erroneously,
A mose is a mose!
A rose is a rose!
A toes a toes!
Hooptie doodie doodle
Moses supposes his toeses are Roses,
But Moses supposes Erroneously,
For Moses he knowses his toeses aren't roses,
As Moses supposes his toeses to be!
Moses
(Moses supposes his toeses are roses)
Moses
(Moses supposes erroneously)
Moses
(Moses supposes his toeses are roses)
As Moses supposes his toeses to be!
A Rose is a rose is a rose is a rose is
A rose is for Moses as potent as toeses
Couldn't be a lily or a daphi daphi dilli
It's gotta be a rose cuz it rhymes with mose!
Moses!
Moses!
Moses!

For those of you who don't recognize this little ditty....here's a link to the reference:

(Sometimes I just have to get these things out of my head!)