TTFN

 

I thought if I only committed to Funny Monday’s for a while I might get my mojo back and have something to write about. But apparently I was wrong.

So, I guess for the time being, this will be the last post here on Pink House Studio.

It’s been fun! I enjoyed it while it lasted……..I hope you did too!

If it turns out I have anything of interest to say I’ll let you know!

TTFN

(PS I'll still post {occasionally} on Instagram.)

Can YOU Say Naïve?

I was well into my mumble mumble mumble (insert age when I should have known better) when we got Sammy.  It wasn’t the first time I had a dog but it WAS the first time where I was a major part of the decision making and care for the animal.

Sammy was a purebred Golden Retriever and there was much discussion about neutering. We had no ambitions of breeding him so after a few heartfelt talks we decided it was for the best.

On a bright and sunny day we drove him to the vet and after a few belly rubs and kisses we left him in the capable and loving hands of Dr. Kramer. The next day we picked him up…..complete with the cone of shame.

(I can’t prove it but I THINK he gave us the ‘stink eye’ as we put him in the car……)

When we got home I made a comfy, cushy bed for him (to assuage my guilt) and he climbed tentatively onto the pile of blankets I had assembled.  But, as he did his circling routine before lying down I noticed something…...or rather I noticed a LACK of something.

I must have audibly gasped because Husband looked at me quizzically and asked what was wrong. I was in such shock I couldn’t even articulate what I was seeing…..or rather what I was NOT seeing.

You see, Husband had had a vasectomy a few years earlier and I THOUGHT I knew the procedure pretty well. I thought that was the way they did it for animals too. SNIP SNIP all done! Easy peasy!

But apparently it’s different in the animal kingdom. They don’t just snip the vas deferens. Nope. They remove the testicles COMPLETELY!!!!!

I was…..surprised. No, I was aghast! And I felt so guilty that for the weeks following the ‘procedure’ I gave Sammy so many extra treats Dr. Kramer admonished me about his weight!

 

(Keep in mind while reading this that we had all of our cats neutered (before we got Sammy) and I didn’t think twice about THEM! Go figure…….LOL)

 

Throcky had a similar experience……

And Here Comes The ‘Letdown’……

I get so excited about an idea in the beginning. I go into it with everything I’ve got. I work with gusto and excitement.  The muse is humming along with me and all is right with the world…….

Then I start to lose interest. I can see the finish line but I start to question every move, every line, every decision……

And I get to a point where I just don’t want to work on it anymore.

It’s garbage.

It was a lousy idea from the start.

But there are hours and hours of WORK in there! It deserves to be shown! Or does it?

And so it goes…..time after time…..and here I am again at the ‘letdown’ stage.

But I promised myself I’d finish it (to the best of my ability and patience) and I’d post it!

Put them all together and you get this:

I still see places where it could use some 'tweaking' and I haven't decided if the last four panels need a background color......should it be a 'board book' instead?...... a 'flip book'?......am I having delusions of grandeur?????? 

Right now I'm just tired of it......the letdown stage......

BUT.....I did finish it!!!!! (to the best of my ability and attention span.....at least there's that....)

I need to lie down now.

♫♪♫♪♫♪….Day is done

Gone the sun, Safely rest, Go to sleep……♫♪♫♪♫♪ (slightly paraphrased but you get the idea)

TableyOne has shuffled off this mortal coil…..He was a good Tabley. He served me well and long. I’m saddened but glad I still have backups and my SD card.

Not sure what the protocol is for burial though……..

Riddle Me This

When I boil eggs on my induction cooktop the eggs start to march around the pot. They never did this on any of my old stove tops.

It’s interesting to watch. They start s-l-o-w-l-y……as if they need to talk it over with one another and decide how and when and what direction to go.

You can tell they’re moving deliberately. They know EXACTLY what they’re doing.

I just don’t know WHY they’re doing it!

It happens every single time.….in a tight little circle. And always counter-clockwise.

ALWAYS.

Which makes me wonder…….is it like water going down the drain? You know the whole clockwise/counter clockwise, northern hemisphere/southern hemisphere thing:

“Objects not attached to the surface of the earth (water in a sink going down a drain) will create a vortex going the opposite direction. So in the Northern hemisphere, it moves clockwise. In the Southern hemisphere, it moves counter clockwise. On the equator, water goes straight down.”

We’ve ALL heard this right? (I’ve also read this is a fallacy….but let’s just put on our tin foil hats and believe it’s true for the moment.)

I live in the northern hemisphere so water going down the drain rotates clockwise.

But apparently, the water in the pot when I’m boiling eggs on my induction cook top goes COUNTER-CLOCKWISE!

Which throws my whole theory out the window….but we’ll ignore that part….lol.

My question is: Do the eggs boiling in a pot on an induction cooktop in the southern hemisphere rotate CLOCKWISE?????

Inquiring minds want to know!

Have You Ever Seen a Pink Robin?

Me neither. 

I feel validated!!! LOL 

 Who knew such a thing existed?

Family Portrait

 Shout out to my neighbor Connie for all the great photos.

Thanks, Connie!

Nothing like a good neighbor for blog fodder.

Just chillin'.

Family portrait.

Okay, everybody.....look this way and SMILE! 

Ode to a Dead Pixel

I got a new Kindle

I caved, I bought one

I said that I wouldn’t

But I did, now it’s done

 

It’s small

And convenient

And I like it a lot

BUT it’s got a dead pixel

Right there

On that spot

 

It’s not very big

And I don’t really care

But it’s distracting

And ugly

And it’s always there

 

Right there on the page

On the left hand side

I can’t seem to ignore it

No matter how hard I try

 

I can’t take it back

It won’t go away

So I’ll just have to live with it

Day……after day…….after day……

THE DENTAL SWEEPSTAKES

A fortune in fabulous prizes may go to any one of our lovely patients today.

Let’s welcome our first contestant.

She is a senior who has been a regular patient at our clinic for years. She tells us she regularly flosses and uses our outlandishly expensive, specially formulated toothpaste.

Let’s take a look! 

Open wide!

DING DING DING DING DING

CONGRATULATIONS!!!

You are our grand prize winner!!!!

Let’s see what she’s won, Alex……. 

Two shiny new crowns, a root canal and a bill the size of the annual budget of the Principality Of Liechtenstein!!!!!!

Thank you for playing THE DENTAL SWEEPSTAKES! 

We hope you’ll play again soon! 

Enjoy your prizes!

YAY? 

Scathingly Brilliant Idea

I have a million of them, folks! Hang onto your hats!

Wouldn’t it be nice if we could program our bodies like we do our computers?  Not as farfetched an idea as you might think. I mean, our brains are just super computers we haven’t quite figured out yet.

I know someone, somewhere must be working on this. I can’t be the only one who has thought of it. I mean how easy would it be to be able to just type out a bit of code and upload it into our brains?

I guess the problem would be figuring out what ‘language’ our brains speak…..Java, C+, Python, Ruby……  But other than that……lol.

Some examples: Pain issues? Addicted to opioids? Here, upload this code! Pain instantly gone forever!

Having ADHD issues? Trouble concentrating? Boom! Got a code for that!

Cancer? Here’s your code!

We could solve our medical issues, employ THOUSANDS (maybe even millions) of people to write the codes..... others to catalog and file them……code stores popping up all over the world.....(just like cell phone stores.....) I’m sure I’m missing other important facets of this idea but you see where I’m going with it, right?

And the marketing possibilities are endless…..just a matter of reusing some of the old catch phrases like:  “Got codes?”……. “There’s a code for that!”….. “A Code is forever”…… “Codes give you wings!”….. “Just Code it!”……..you get the idea.

We could solve ALL our problems!

Well, okay, maybe not ALL our problems …….and maybe we’d be creating new ones…..never mind…..I guess I haven’t thought this completely through yet………..

Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain! LOL

Is It real or Memorex?

 I guess you've noticed I haven't been posting much this past year or so......I wonder why???? 

You could blame it on a lot of different things.....blog burnout, it stopped being fun and became more of a chore, I was overwhelmed......stressed......I lost my mojo.....I've forgotten what stories I've told (and I can't seem to find older posts when I try to check.....damn Blogger changes).....any and all of the above and then some. 

I also noticed that for some time, even before this whole shit show of a year, the number of people stopping by were dropping. Not that I can blame you.....

But now suddenly the numbers are going up again. I was considering just shutting it down. I figured it had run its course and was time to let it die a natural death. Just say thank you and let it go. But if the numbers are going up again......I might find a few more words to say.....snort.......

I don't know if the stats are real or if somehow Blogger is miscalculating the traffic.....but....I guess I'll blather on......lol.

Covid Made Me Do It

I have ALWAYS made my bed daily.

Always.

I don’t deviate from this routine. Ever. My mother taught me that you make the bed the minute you get out of it. Period. No arguing, no hesitation, no procrastination, you just do it.

So I get out of bed, smooth the sheets, stow the pillows in the headboard, pull up the comforter and artfully arrange the throw pillows. DONE.

In doing this daily task you set yourself up to be productive. And if for some reason you don’t get anything else done that day AT LEAST YOU MADE YOUR BED!

I have since heard this reasoning from other sources but my mother taught it to me first.

I have carried on this legacy for sixty-seven years! (not a bad run if I do say so myself!)

Until now……..

And it’s ALL Covid’s fault!

I just don’t feel motivated enough to make my bed anymore. I do a ‘sort of’ straightening of the sheets and I fluff up the pillows, but…….I don’t bother with the comforter or the decorative throw pillows anymore.

And I say it’s all Covid’s fault! And Trump’s…..but we won’t go there. I’m depressed enough.

This is how civilization ends my friends. Not with a bang or a whimper but with a profusion of unmade beds!

The Silver Lining to Covid-19

Because there’s always a silver lining, right?

I went to the library thinking that a few engaging books might be a good idea to take my mind off these troubling times.

As I stood at the kiosk to check them out I entered my PIN number and…..ERROR. PIN number invalid. Ooops, I must have entered it incorrectly. So I key it in again…….ERROR, PIN number invalid.

Hmmmmm, I hesitate for a moment, thinking………then enter it again. ERROR!

My PIN number for my library card is and has been, for the last eighteen years, the last four numbers of my phone number.

Now I’m just a little bit concerned that maybe I’m wrong. Is it the last four digits of my phone number? YES! It is! I’m sure. But……am I?

And as I stand there I find myself flooded with emotions…..wondering if I’m losing my mind…….am I sinking into forgetfulness……did I really just forget my own phone number? And I’m getting angry with an inanimate object that is making me second guess myself.

I’m confused and angry and just a little bit scared. And then I’m angry that I’m confused and scared!

The next thing I know there are tears running down my cheeks!

And a WHOLE NEW set of emotions flood over me!

Am I REALLY standing in the library in public CRYING over not being able to check out two books?

I am mortified that someone will see what’s happening and then I realize……I’m wearing sunglasses and the face mask I’m wearing is soaking up the tears before they run out from beneath my glasses.

So there you have it. The silver lining to Covid-19 is that no one will see that you’re crying if you wear a face mask in public. And sunglasses, of course. LOL

Some of Them Were Wins, Others Not So Much……

I haven’t been feeling very artsy since this whole pandemic thing started. I don’t know if it’s just the usual ebb and flow of the creative muse or it’s a result of the pandemic malaise that seems to have come over us all.

Either way it doesn’t really matter.

‘They’ say the muse comes to the moving hand.

So to try and kick start my creativity I signed up for a bunch of online classes. (Can you say procrastinate????? LOL)

One of the lessons was one from Carla Sonheim. (Click on the link for the quickie video…..I’m too lazy to explain it here.)

Well, I did it.

At least it got my hand moving .But like the title of this post says…….some of them were wins, others not so much…….

I’m here Miss Muse, anytime you’re ready!

Lists

I’m a list maker from way back. I learned from my mother. She was the Queen of Lists and she taught me well. I find that enumerating the things that need to be done and seeing it in black and white clarifies, for me anyway, the trajectory of my day.

Plus I think it’s a very effective mental health tool. To be able to cross something off my list is thoroughly satisfying. To see a WHOLE list crossed off and completed is the ultimate in satisfaction!

And on those days where nothing seems to go right and you get sidetracked, my mother taught me it’s perfectly acceptable to write something on your list that has already been completed just for the gratification of feeling like you completed SOMETHING that day!

What I’m saying is……lists have always worked for me. I make lists of tasks that need to be done, I make lists of things I need to buy/order, I make lists of fleeting ideas because I know I will forget them if I don’t write them down.

But this has been the first time EVER I have made a list to myself and I have NO FREAKING IDEA what it means!

Where was I going with it? Was it an idea for something to draw? Was it and idea of something to write about? Was it a memory? What the hell was I THINKING?????

And now it’s got an added layer to it……forgetfulness! The fact that for the first time (that I can remember, lol, pun intended) I don’t know what it means and it is stimulating absolutely NOTHING in my memory banks!

On the other hand…..it’s funny as hell!

WTF?

M I A

I'm sorry I haven't been posting here lately but I've been busy doing this:

I couldn't stand the chaos any longer. 

I want to re-do the whole room from top to bottom (new carpet, a new pull out couch, new window treatments, new closet doors {I HATE louvers! lol}) but finances have a way of saying, "Hell no! Not until you pay off your stageringly high credit card debt!" 

So in lieu of a total makeover I just purged and made do with what I have. 

It feels soooo much better. And looks better too! 

The UGLY black file cabinet is gone! YAY! 

Husband mounted my monitor on the wall and built pull out shelves in the cabinet for the scanner and printer so the desktop is nice and roomy! 

The big red chair is the focal point on the other wall along with a pared down selection of art. 

 And the pièce de résistance........the closet.......

It is a thing of beauty, is it not????? 

Now Son2 won't feel so cramped when he comes home to visit and I have a lovely SPACIOUS place to play and create! Win/win! 

It took me a full two weeks to do it but it was worth it! 

And just when I thought it was all done.....Husband added this:

A flat panel to cover all the ugly wires and cords! 

Inter-Office Memo

Inter-office memo to: endocrine system re: internal thermostat control.

MAKE UP YOUR F*&@$%;G MIND!

WTF? Pick one or the other!

Ain't Nature Grand?

It's not often you see ALL seven of the colors in a rainbow!

Of course, as soon as I grabbed my phone and ran outside it was fading......

But they were all there! 

I'm taking it as a good omen for the new year! (I'm crossing my fingers too.....just in case!) 

Good News/Bad News

Some days are good days some days are bad days and then there are those that are roller coaster rides!

Good news: My medical insurance company is VERY proactive! So much so I find it intrusive and annoying as hell! They constantly call to offer unsolicited advice and to remind me I’m old now and need to get a flu shot!

But when they sent me an ‘in home’ kidney disease test I went berserk! How DARE they! I HAVE a doctor who cares for me and orders the tests she feels are necessary! Get your nosey nose out of my business!

Then I calmed down and thought about it for a while and since it was free……and since some of the meds I’m on are hard on the kidneys I thought maybe I should stop being such an ass and just do it.

So I peed in the cup, packaged it up, mailed it and waited.

It was taking so long I was beginning to think I had done something wrong and they just threw away my specimen. Then the envelope came. I was torn between not wanting to know and wanting to know. Maybe I could just wait until I went to see my doctor and have her tell me the news…….snort……

So I opened the envelope and…..GOOD NEWS! My kidney function was well within ‘normal range’!

YAY for Robin’s kidneys! Fighting the good fight against all the bad meds!!!!!

I felt like I had dodged a bullet. I was riding high! 

Until…..

The next envelope in the mail that day was from my mail order prescription plan.

Not worried.

They’re always sending me something that ends up being mostly ‘blah blah blah, the price is going up, blah blah blah……’ But this one was different.

It said that one of my meds had been recalled by the pharmaceutical company because……wait for it……it contains a carcinogen!

THE MEDICINE THAT I HAVE BEEN TAKING FOR YEARS CONTAINS A KNOWN CARCINOGEN!!!!

So, on the one hand your kidneys are fine but on the other hand you might have just ingested year’s worth of cancer causing chemicals!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I can’t stop laughing! I think it might be hysterical laughter.

Should I be worried? Should I have some sort of test? Should I throw up my hands in surrender? Should I jump off a cliff?

Or is this one of those things where you’d have to consume three cases of the stuff every day for a period of twenty years for it to have any effect?

Well, I’m going to die of something someday so I’ve decided not to waste my time worrying about it. 

With that said, I’m going to go eat something sugary and fattening now.......ya’know, just in case the end is near!

Life’s Highway

When I was pregnant with Son1, Husband and I attended the requisite Lamaze classes.

After weeks of huffing and puffing and learning all the relaxation techniques we were finally finished and looking forward to ‘meeting’ our little bundle of joy.

The instructor excitedly congratulated all of us and was going on about the joys of parenthood. Then she asked us to share with the class what we hoped our babies would inherit from our spouses. 

She looked at me and asked me to go first. (Asking me to go first is NEVER a good idea.)

I thought for a moment and said, “I hope my baby inherits my husband’s pearly white, straight as Chiclets  beautiful teeth!”

…………..CRICKETS

After what seemed like an interminable amount of time (with lots of throat clearing and blinking) she said, “Well, actually, what I meant was more along the lines of ‘compassion’ and ‘loving spirit.’”

There were a few titters around the room as I looked at her with the same blank stare she had for me and I said, “I can TEACH him to be compassionate and I can SHOW him love. I CAN’T teach him to have straight teeth!”

That story pretty much illustrates my whole life.

While the rest of the world is traveling down life’s highway I’m somewhere else…….off-roading.