.....and other random stuff......

Tuesday, March 29, 2016

How to Fool Yourself into Thinking You’ve Done Something Worthwhile

Another great thing I like about the 'Shackle of Shame' is on those days when I’m less than productive…..when my get up and go, got up and went…..when I didn’t get around to doing  the laundry, gave up on going to the grocery store, never got to the dusting, had take out for dinner…..

I can still feel productive when I look at my wrist and see I’ve ‘accomplished’ those 10,000 steps! 

Monday, March 28, 2016

Punny Monday

What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter? Irrelephant!

Friday, March 25, 2016

Free Entertainment (or, I am easily amused, either one)

Every year I look forward to the new crop of people who rent the properties across the canal from us.
The one directly across from us used to rent to a very amusing group of ladies every year. We would sit on the lanai and listen as they became more and more inebriated and boisterous as the weeks wore on.  
Alas, the owners (aka ‘the zombies’) must have paid off their mortgage and no longer rent the house.
Much to my disappointment.

BUT, the house next door to the zombies has begun to rent more often. And this year it’s a lovely family who know how to enjoy life and they laugh……A LOT! And loudly!
Especially the wife/mother. (Or so I assume that is her role.)
I LOVE to hear people laugh. And when I do I join right in. I don’t need to know the joke.
I think it’s the best sound in the world, laughter.

They apparently have a great sense of humor.
I hear the screen door squeak open and then the distinct jingle of dog tags running around the yard. And I catch a glimpse of what looks like a small lap dog of indiscriminant breed. A few minutes later the screen door squeaks open again and the jingle fades into the house.
This goes on day and night. Squeak, jingle, jingle, squeak. Squeak, jingle, jingle, squeak.
But one evening it’s different.
I hear the squeak of the door; I hear the jingle of the tags, but then the jingling stops.
After a few minutes I hear a quiet whistle to call the dog back into the house.
Another whistle a little louder.
Then I see the beam of a flashlight as someone steps out into the yard to search for the errant dog.
Finally, after several minutes of watching the jiggling beam of light moving around the yard I hear, in what can only be described as the best imitation of Marlon Brando as Stanley Kowalski bellowing a heartfelt, “STELLLLLLLLAAAAAAAA!”

I nearly collapsed I laughed so hard! 

Thursday, March 24, 2016

Throwback Thursday

Husband's grandparents. (I love that veil!)

Tuesday, March 22, 2016

Unexpected Gifts

We lived in our house up north for 21 years. We tore it apart to the studs and put it back together several times renovating it. We thought we knew it inside out. Rafters to crawlspace. Interior and exterior. That is, until Husband did one last walk through on the day we moved out.

He reached into the space between the floorboards of the attic and the ceiling of the garage, just checking one last time and came up with this:
(In case you can’t tell from my very accurate depiction………it’s a gimballed compass in a handmade box.)

We were thrilled. One last gift from the previous owner (and builder of the house.) 
I still say we should have kept looking. I have a feeling there was a bag of money stuffed in there too…….

Monday, March 21, 2016

Punny Monday

Why is it so hard to punish a vampire? - because they can't reflect on what they've done.

Friday, March 18, 2016

I Might Be Weirder Than I Thought

It has recently come to light that I might be more ‘off’ than I ever realized.
I mean, I always knew our family’s sense of humor was slightly twisted but then I thought everybody’s family was like that in private.
I learned early that there was ‘inside’ behavior where it was okay to say and do almost anything within the confines of the family and ‘outside’ behavior where you had to be PC and polite.
But some of the comments made to me of late have led me to believe that not everyone has ‘inside’ behavior. 

Mores the pity…..

Thursday, March 17, 2016

Tuesday, March 15, 2016

VivoFit2 Update

It’s been a little over a month since I first strapped on the ‘Shackle of Shame’. I’ve worn it religiously every day. I’ve made my goal of at least 10,000 steps every day! (Well, okay, except for the first three days…..)
I’m here to tell you I LOVE it! It keeps me honest! And moving. I’ve turned into a ‘health nut’ (and if you believe that I have some nice swamp land you might like to buy….)
I deliberately avoided stepping on the scale during this time because I tend to be impatient when it comes to losing weight. But I thought after a month of continuous walking I could risk it.
Here’s the amazing part…..
Drum roll please…………….
After a whole month of 10,000 steps a day (and sore muscles) I’ve lost…………ONE POUND!

Bad dum tshh……..

Talk about your anticlimax……

Monday, March 14, 2016

Punny Monday

The other day I held the door open for a clown. It was a nice Jester.

Friday, March 11, 2016


When my mother was in high school the local pottery company ran a contest. They were looking for new/original designs for their line.
She won.
Not surprising, to me anyway. What did surprise me was the result.

The contest winner’s design was going to be produced in volume and sold nationwide in upscale department stores.
I don’t think my mother was to get any monetary compensation, just the prestige and satisfaction of winning and seeing her design for sale.
They were all set up for production until……some bright executive in the company looked at it and said it looked too much like the Nazi swastika! (Context here, c. 1938)


It’s a Native American design! Are you STOOPID?
So production was shut down and they went back to the drawing board (they didn’t ask the high school students for any more ideas….)
But they did run off one set for my mother.
I guess it was a consolation prize.

Now I ask you….does this look ANYTHING like a swastika?????


Thursday, March 10, 2016

Throwback Thursday

Maiden voyage of the 'Jofus' which husband built in his basement with his best friend.
  (I have no idea why the picture is with his grandfather and not his best friend!)

Tuesday, March 8, 2016

I'm Determined

I'm determined, this time, to fill this sketchbook! If I do it will be the first time ever. 
This is the fifth page!  (snort)
(You might want to start taking bets among yourselves....you could clean up! 
I have about twenty unfinished sketchbooks on my shelves. lol)

Monday, March 7, 2016

Punny Monday

No matter how much you push the envelope.....it'll still be stationery.

Friday, March 4, 2016

Totally Out Of My Element

Some of what I've been up to in the ‘Y is for Yellow’ class with CarlaSonheim.
These past two weeks have been about Salvador Dali and learning to do ‘dry brush’ technique.
Also to dare yourself to do something out of your usual comfort zone.
So I tried a landscape and a still life, a psychedelic cow and a celestial 'landscape'. 
With the last one I fell back into my comfort zone with a face.

So I stretched….a little….lol.

Thursday, March 3, 2016

Tuesday, March 1, 2016

Personal Growth in All Directions

I have always had a bad habit of saying things without thinking about how others might take it.
I kinda lack a filter that way.
I’m not sure if it’s stupidity or naiveté.

And what makes it worse is that it’s almost always something totally innocent but comes out completely filthy.

Yesterday, for the first time EVER I caught myself BEFORE the words left my mouth! (….mostly)

Husband had just returned from an all day fishing trip with our neighbor and neighbor’s twenty something son.
I went out to help.
This involved uncovering the fish cleaning table for them.

Here I have to explain that the fish cleaning table is covered with a fitted canvas to protect it from the elements. And under the canvas Husband has placed two children’s rubber balls to keep the rain from puddling on the canvas.  
I reached under the canvas to remove the balls but recoiled because I saw they were black with mold!
As I pulled my hand back and gasped the words spilled out of my mouth, “Oh! Your balls are covered with…….”  

But then I stopped myself!

Of course, that was the exact moment the men stopped talking.
Our neighbor’s son looked at me and said, “What was that?”

Without missing a beat Husband said, “Actually, that was personal growth!”