Wednesday, October 30, 2013
Tuesday, October 29, 2013
These aren’t mine but I couldn’t help sharing!
I did a theatrical performance about puns.
It was a play on words.
What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?
Cartoonist found dead in home.
Details are sketchy.
And the best for last……
This dyslexic man walks into a bra…….
Ba Dum Ching! ♫♪♫♪♫
My father would be so proud! J
Monday, October 28, 2013
Friday, October 25, 2013
Thursday, October 24, 2013
Every month I have the pleasure of balancing the checkbook.
It is a well known fact I have a tenuous relationship with math……banks are not my favorite institutions and inanimate objects and I don’t get along very well.
Put them all together and it does not bode well for a happy ending.
Then throw in the fact that my calculator lies, and….well……..
You can see how this could go terribly, terribly wrong.
Husband runs away when he sees the bank statement in the mail.
I don’t blame him.
I spend several days heaving heavy sighs looking at the unopened bank statement.
Then I suck it up and open the envelope.
I set up a “balancing the checkbook station” with checkbook, copies of the bank statement (because I have been known to get into a snit and rip up the pages upon occasion) pen and calculator.
I sit at the desk and commence to go out of my mind.
I know it’s not going to balance on the first go.
Ever the optimist, I try.
And I come close.
Then it happens.
The calculator changes his mind!
Ooooops! Sorry, I didn’t mean $5,293.36 I meant $5,486.96….’my bad’ he says to me.
So I do it again.
Meticulously entering all the months’ sums, I hit ‘equal’………and a THIRD AND COMPLETELY different total appears.
I swear I can hear a mocking tone in his clicks as I enter the numbers.
And I think I can see just the slightest upturn at the corners of his display, as if he’s trying to hold back a smile.
He mocks me.
(I know what you’re thinking, so being proactive, the answers are: Yes, I changed his batteries. Yes, I have tried a different calculator (no comments from the peanut gallery, please!) Yes, Husband has tried to do it. That did not go well either.
………..you don’t suppose I’ve wandered into the ‘ElectronicTwilight Zone’ do you…….?
Wednesday, October 23, 2013
Tuesday, October 22, 2013
Monday, October 21, 2013
Because apparently there is something terribly wrong with me.
They wouldn’t have been able to indentify my father’s body from dental records because he never had a cavity in his life! (FYI It wasn’t necessary, just a thought if it had been.)
I wonder if any of my ancestors were pirates.
Would Superglue (applied to the fingertips) obscure your finger prints if you were a criminal?
What compelled the first person to look at a birds’ nest in a dark cave and say, “Hmmmm, I bet that would make a nice bowl of soup!”
If we only use 10% of our brains. What’s the other 90% for?
A recent news article states, on average, you pass seven psychopaths a day. I wonder which ones they were today…..?
How did Knights go to the bathroom with their armor on?
Who decided horses needed to start wearing shoes?
Why do some languages sound like they’re always angry and yelling?
Proving once again the validity of the adage.....……a mind is a terrible thing to waste! LOL
Friday, October 18, 2013
Thursday, October 17, 2013
The drawback to using a cloud based program or app is ‘THEY’ can change, update, rearrange, modify and pretty much ruin it anytime ‘THEY’ want!
My USED TO BE FAVORITE drawing program/app on Tablet was updated last Tuesday.
You have no choice.
Husband has since turned off that option in settings for me, but not until it was too late to save my beloved Sketchbook Pro.
I am *&$*&#*&@& pissed!
And that’s putting it mildly.
It’s like someone has broken into my studio and rummaged around in my desk moving things around so I can’t find anything. And even STOLEN some of my favorite tools!
Who does that?????
Why don’t they give you the option to update if you want whatever ‘new’ goodies they have decided to offer?
And if it has to be automatic why not give people the option to roll back to a previous, preferred version?
I don’t want to learn how to use the damn thing all over again!
One learning curve per program is quite enough for me!
I LIKED the way it worked BEFORE.
I was comfortable with it.
I knew right where everything was.
I could reach for a brush, change a color, and add a layer all without a second thought.
Now I have to dig for the options I want.
Needless to say this is no longer my favorite program.
I might get used to it in time……..maybe…….if I can get past being pissed.
I sent ‘THEM’ a strongly worded email voicing my displeasure AND I’m retracting my star rating (so there!)
Not that THEY care about my measly opinion.
But a person has to take a stand!
Wednesday, October 16, 2013
Sunday, October 13, 2013
It has come to my attention that my number one, favorite of all time magazine is in an iron lung (so to speak).
Before it even has a chance to get on its trembly little legs……
FEATURING magazine is the brainchild and dream of Marit Barentsen.
It is a glossy, yummy, gloriously free of advertisement, art magazine that features artists from all venues and mediums from all corners of the world.
It is the only magazine I know of that does not pander to the ‘art snobs’ or talk down as if to children.
Because they don’t take much advertising they are on the precipice of not being able to publish any longer.
I cannot tell you how sad this makes me.
The market place NEEDS this magazine.
An intelligent, accessible art magazine covering venues and artists the other publications ignore.
Now here is what I’m asking.
All it takes is a mouse click.
Go HERE and add your voice to the independent artist chorus.
I KNOW WE CAN DO THIS!
If it wouldn’t be too much trouble, post it on your Facebook page. Or even better on your blog! Or BOTH!
Feel free to cut and paste this post directly to your own blog.
If you tell two people and they tell two people……we’ll have this done in no time.
And if you’re looking for a really good read with your morning cuppa, go here and order an issue (or even all four!)
I promise, you won’t be disappointed!
I thank you for taking the time to read this, but I’ll love you forever and you can be my new best friends if you help!
Thanks! I knew I could count on you!!
PS Don't forget to 'like' their Facebook page too!
ALL IMAGES ARE FROM ISSUE #4 if you like them and want to see more.......
BUY A COPY! J
Friday, October 11, 2013
Thursday, October 10, 2013
Tuesday, October 8, 2013
Monday, October 7, 2013
Does it ever surprise you to look in the mirror and see that you’re not ‘young’ anymore?
I know that sounds weird, but let me explain.
I couldn’t find my regular brand shampoo last time I went shopping (stay with me here, it’s pertinent!) So I bought a different one.
I used it for the first time this morning and the fragrance was exactly like a brand I used in my twenties.
It was a nice little treat for my olfactory senses.
I loved that shampoo so much I used to have the pharmacy guy buy it by the case.
But life moves on and they changed the formula or something, so I stopped buying it.
But the funny thing was…….when I stepped out of the shower and was toweling my hair I glanced in the mirror and saw myself as I am now….. and I was, for a nano-second, taken aback that I didn’t see my thin, pretty, twenty two year old self reflected back at me!
Okay, so I’m delusional, you’re surprised?
Friday, October 4, 2013
Height: 5’ 7”
Weight: 118 lbs.
Hair: blonde (possibly bleached)
Distinguishing marks: ‘My Little Pony’ tattoo on right buttock
Wanted For: Retail Exploitation a.k.a. ‘Wardrobing’ returning clothes for full refund after being worn to high end Hollywood parties and premieres
Thursday, October 3, 2013
Review of my new ‘hand-book’ journal, manufactured by GLOBAL ART MATERIALS, INC
Timaree was right.
In a word……meh.
I’m glad it was on sale.
It said it would take ‘light’ watercolor.
Not so much.
The paper curls and warps with the slightest application of water.
I used my new Copic Multiliners and my good ole Sharpie pens.
Not too bad but the paper does ‘lift’ and you get little fibers and globs on the pen tips.
I also used Copic markers for color and they bleed through the pages terribly.
On the plus side….it makes the journal less ‘precious’ so I don’t have to feel hesitant about ruining it.
Which is always a drawback for me.
I’m afraid to make a mistake! Like it matters in a sketchbook! LOL
Plus it's small enough to tuck in a pocket or purse.
And it's CUTE, so there's that too!
Wednesday, October 2, 2013
Tuesday, October 1, 2013
Some time ago I put my painted birdhouses in our ‘back forty’ (our little garden on the lanai.)
For several reasons…
I was sick and tired of dusting them.I thought it would add some needed color when the decorative plants died off.
It might give the geckos a hiding place from the cat when she went on her nightly hunts.
I have noticed a growing number of geckos out there lately and I imagine they must be partying hardy now that she’s gone. ;)