For Mother’s Day: In Honor of My Mother

AKA: Newsflash People: EVERYBODY’S Faking It

My mother always amazed me.

A young eighteen year old girl from a small town in upstate New York moves to the most cosmopolitan city in the world and fits right in!

She was intelligent, pretty, stylish, sophisticated and smart (which is totally different than being intelligent, by the way.)

Clued in, on the ball, in the know, self assured.

She was always so certain about everything. Never faltered, never wavered.

I, on the other hand, have moments of grandiose self doubt.

I have many (many) moments of uncertainty.

When I was young it was….was I pretty enough…..thin enough….smart enough…..was I talented…….did I stand up to my friends scrutiny……and on and on and on……

As I got older some of the doubts faded away but were replaced by others.

For instance: a few days after Son1 and I came home from the hospital Husband found me sobbing uncontrollably on the couch, wailing “I don’t know HOW to be a Mommy!” (Poor Husband was completely unglued at the sight of me crying……I almost never cry (at movies yes, but not much in real life.)

I just KNEW I’d never be as good a mother to my son as my mother was to me and BigBrother.

I had doubts.

BIG doubts, humongous doubts.

How did she do it? How was she always so sure?

I asked her one day when I was once again riddled with self doubt.

She said….she faked it!

Seriously? THAT”S your answer?

Yup, she said, you act like you know what you’re doing until you find that you DO know. And, by the way, newsflash: everyone else is doing the exact same thing!

So the next time you’re feeling self conscious and doubting yourself just remember, we’re ALL in the same boat and I’m just as unsure as you are!

(Even at MY age!)

Thanks Mom! ♥