I Don’t Know About You……

But lately I find myself spending an inordinate amount of time thinking about my demise. I don’t mean that in a maudlin way. Not a ‘Woe is me….’ kind of thing.

I long ago made peace with the fact that no one gets out alive.  (Not even me, lol.)

But I find it kind of weird to think there is less time left in front of me than behind me. It’s a concept that never occurred to me before.

I guess you grow up thinking you have an infinite amount of time….maybe this is all normal age related stuff. I don’t know. I’ve never been this old before so I don’t have any comparisons.

It all came into crystal clear clarity the day my monthly financial statement arrived.

The recent downturn (cough cough, she says euphemistically) in the stock market took a big bite out of my investments. (Disclaimer here: I know I am very lucky to even have investments. And I do appreciate my good fortune. But when you see it in black and white on the printed page I find myself getting a bit more than pissed off that the ‘little guy’ {read: you and me} take the hits while the 1% keeps getting richer! But I digress……)

Anyway…….after taking several deep breaths and calming down, I crunched the numbers and calculated at the rate the market is going I have to die by age 85!

Well, at least now I have a finish date and can plan accordingly! lol 

Throwback Thursday

My mother, Uncle Richie, BigBro and the infamous Aunt Eleanor. I assume my father is taking the picture but where am I, lol?

Our dining room wallpaper fascinated me as a child.

It was predominantly brown in color and those squares were drawings of early American scenes illustrating grammar rules. I guess my mother thought they might sink in through osmosis if we were exposed to them long enough…..I’m proof she was wrong…..

(I've done searches online to see if I could find it. Looking for close up's of the drawings or maybe reproductions of it, to no avail. I'm assuming it wasn't popular enough to reproduce like some of the other 1940's & 50's wallpapers, lol.) 

Wordless Wednesday

Speaking of Things Medical

I often wonder how many people just go ahead and pay whatever they're told they owe for a 'procedure' without looking into it (and how often the insurance companies just keep it!)

My mother got that way after a while.

At first she was diligent, but after years of my father's disability I think she got overwhelmed and worn down.

So she handed all the paperwork over to me to deal with.

At one point it was so convoluted and there was SO MUCH OF IT I took it to work and used the fifteen foot long conference table to try and bring it into some semblance of order.

I laid out all the bills from the hospitals grouped by procedure. Then I matched the Medicare statements to each pile and the supplemental insurance statements and then, last but not least, the corresponding doctors bills.

Whew!

Then I organized each pile into chronological order hoping this would end up telling me what the balance was.

I found most of the time the doctors usually 'forgave' the balance owed if it was under a few hundred dollars.

I thought that was pretty nice of them considering the insurance company had paid them THOUSANDS (and sometimes HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS, in the case of my father's brain surgery.)

I mean what’s $120 when you’ve already collected $158,000 right?

So I was shocked when, once all the dust had settled and things were organized, one doctor kept sending a bill for $0.56!

YUP, fifty six cents!

I waited a few months before I finally called the billing department. I assumed they would forgive this miniscule amount as the others had, but nooooooo.

I was flabbergasted! And just a little pissed off.

I couldn't bring myself to write a check. It was just too ridiculous! It was going to cost more to write a check and put a stamp on the envelope than the amount we owed (a point which fell on deaf ears in the billing department.)

So, just to make myself feel better (and because  I can be a bit of an ass sometimes,) I took two quarters, a nickel and a penny, glued them to the statement,  folded it very neatly, placed it carefully into the envelope addressed to the doctor, without a return address and mailed it-------sans stamp.

Vengeance can be very therapeutic! 

We never heard from him again.

Punny Monday

There was a big paddle sale at the boat store. It was quite an oar deal.

Banana or Berry?

“Which would you rather have, banana or berry?”

“I like bananas. Let’s not ruin bananas for me. Berry please.”

And so goes the conversation (for the third time) with the nurse prior to the The Test.

As far as medical procedures go I prefer this one to many of the others that are out there. But still, drinking (and I use that term VERY loosely) this sludge is not easy.  Having to do it at six AM is just adding insult to injury!

As I sat in the waiting room, still chugging the second bottle waiting for the technician, the receptionist calls to me. She says “The cost of the scan will go towards your deductible and there is $189 balance due. Will that be cash or credit?”

“I already had this conversation with the billing department last Thursday. It’s been straightened out. I have a $20 co-pay, that’s it.”

She blinks, and repeats “Its $189, payable now.”

We go back and forth a bit and I finally lose it.

“I’m not paying $189!”

“Okay,” I said, “This can go one of two ways. You can take my $20 co-pay and we can get on with the scan or, we can get on with the scan, you bill the insurance company and I’ll pay the balance later.”

“Oh wait, there IS a third alternative. I can stick my finger down my throat right now and give back this delicious 'berry smoothie', go home and we’ll call it a day!”

I didn’t really say that last one, but I got a great deal of pleasure fantasizing about it!

(And for the record, I only paid the $20! So there!)

Throwback Thursday

My father, BigBro and our paternal grandfather.

Wordless Wednesday

(Not my art, but a perfect image of my school days...)

Now I’ll Never Know…….

I saw a post on Facebook the other day showing the genetic possibilities of a couple conceiving a child together. Apparently I’m a hot mess of weak genes: left-handedness, straight blonde hair, fair skinned…... But what really struck me of all the visuals was this one:

Um, Mom? Is there something you forgot to tell me???

(Come to think of it there WAS that family joke about me being the milkman’s daughter…….lol)

Punny Monday

What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing - but it let out a little whine.