'Twas the Day After Christmas

Twas the day after Christmas, and all through the house,

Every creature was hurting -- even the mouse.

The toys were all broken, their batteries dead;

Santa passed out, with some ice on his head.

Wrapping and ribbons just covered the floor, while

Upstairs the family continued to snore.

And I in my T-shirt, new Reeboks and jeans,

Went into the kitchen and started to clean.

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from the sink to see what was the matter.

Away to the window I flew like a flash,

Tore open the curtains, and threw up the sash.

When what to my wondering eyes should appear,

But a little white truck, with an oversized mirror.

The driver was smiling, so lively and grand;

The patch on his jacket said "U.S. POSTMAN."

With a handful of bills, he grinned like a fox

Then quickly he stuffed them into our mailbox.

Bill after bill, after bill, they still came.

Whistling and shouting he called them by name:

"Now Dillard's, now Broadway's, now Penny's and Sears

Here's Levitz's and Target's and Mervyn's--all here!!

To the tip or your limit, every store, every mall,

Now chargeaway-chargeaway-chargeaway all!"

He whooped and he whistled as he finished his work.

He filled up the box, and then turned with a jerk.

He sprang to his truck and he drove down the road,

Driving much faster with just half a load.

Then I heard him exclaim with great holiday cheer,

"ENJOY WHAT YOU GOT ... YOU'LL BE PAYING ALL YEAR!"

Author Unknown