You start to suspect you're not looking your best when the waitress refers to your sons as your GRANDSONS!!!
.....and other random stuff......
Thursday, November 30, 2017
Wednesday, November 29, 2017
Tuesday, November 28, 2017
Monday, November 27, 2017
Punny Monday
“A fool and his money are soon elected.” —
Will Rogers
(footnote:I'm running out of good puns so I've decided to switch to PARAPROSDOKIANS.
PARAPROSDOKIANS (Winston Churchill loved them) are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently humorous.)
Friday, November 24, 2017
Stream Of Consciousness Thoughts While Hugging the Porcelain Bowl
OMG OMG OMG wave of nausea rolling in.
I’m NOT going to throw up, I’m NOT going to throw up, I’m NOT going to throw up.
Uh oh…mouth beginning to water….here it comes……
NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! Mind over matter, you can do it, think it away.
I WILL NOT THROW UP! I WILL NOT THROW UP! I WILL NOT THROW UP!
Whatever happened to that pact I made with the Devil in college to never throw up again in exchange for my soul?
Did it expire or something?
Devil where are you when I need you?
I shouldn’t have had that second helping at dinner.
C’mon it’s all concentration; you can do it, think nice, pretty, soothing thoughts.
Mom used to say ‘better an empty house than a bad tenant.’
She was wrong!
Good thing I washed the throw rug. At least my knees have a little padding to rest on.
The toilet lid makes a great handle to hold onto.
I could probably just sleep here for the night.
I wonder what the rest of the world is doing right now.
I wish I was dead.
Thursday, November 23, 2017
Thoughts on a Thursday
How important does a person have to be before they are
considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
Wednesday, November 22, 2017
Tuesday, November 21, 2017
I’ve Decided My Lousy Housekeeping Is a Public Service
Here’s my thinking……if I keep a perfect (ahem) house, dust
free and orderly, then anyone who comes over is going to feel bad that THEIR
house can’t live up to my high standards! They will fall into a deep depression
because of my pristine housekeeping. Therefore, if I DON’T dust and I DON’T put
things in their proper places….THEN whenever anyone visits they are going to
feel SO superior by comparison they’ll be floating on cloud nine for DAYS…..
maybe even WEEKS!
You’re welcome!
Monday, November 20, 2017
Punny Monday
I discovered I scream the same way whether I’m
about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my
foot.
(footnote:I'm running out of good puns so I've decided to switch to PARAPROSDOKIANS.
PARAPROSDOKIANS (Winston Churchill loved them) are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently humorous.)
Friday, November 17, 2017
Taa Daa It's Finally Done
....well, except for the area rug......which, for the life of me, I can't decide on....
This is looking from the foyer into the laundry room.
This is looking from the garage into the laundry room (it was easier to take the 'panorama' shot from this angle.)
And THIS is the reason for the whole re-do. I wanted a broom closet to keep the vacuum cleaner in. It's a 30" cabinet....add that to the width of the machines and you don't have enough room for the sink cabinet.....BUT....with the weird little 'wedge' of empty space behind the machines and Husband's amazing abilities he made it work! He placed the machines at an angle that allowed him to fit the sink base between them and the broom closet (with a bit of customizing.)
There is more storage space than I have 'stuff'! But storage is always at a premium so thinking ahead about re-sale value we thought it was a good idea to use all the space we had and put cabinets up to the ceiling. I need the step stool to reach them but storage is storage and I've only put things that we hardly ever need or look for up there.
And this is the little step stool I bought at Ikea (in the children's section) so I can actually see the settings on the dryer!
Once I can make up my mind about a rug it will be officially DONE!
But for now I just wander in there to admire it's gloriousness.....and occasionally do a load of laundry!
Thursday, November 16, 2017
Thoughts on a Thursday
Somewhere
between the comfort of a routine and the misery of a rut lies contentment.
Wednesday, November 15, 2017
Tuesday, November 14, 2017
It’s No Longer the World I’m Used To
Don’t worry, I’m not going to get all preachy or political (not
that I couldn’t but we’ll leave that for cooler heads.) No, the story I’m going
to relate is sort of the way I feel the world is spinning out of control…….and
it’s sad.
As I was running errands the other day I noticed a young
mother and her two little girls. We were at the library and we checked out at
the same time but at different kiosks. As I walked to my car they were behind
me, the little girls were telling their mom about their school day.
I got into
my car, they got into theirs. I drove off to my next errand.
As I was walking into the supermarket noticed I was behind
the same mom and little girls. I didn’t say anything……..at first….but when we
all turned down the same aisle I laughed and said to them, “We have to stop
meeting like this!” And I continued saying, “I was just at the library and
noticed you and now here we are again!” because apparently she didn’t
understand why I was making the joke…….
The look on the mom’s face was complete horror as she
grabbed the girl’s hands tighter and literally dragged them down the aisle as
one of them tried to reach for something on the shelf. The girls were trying to
turn around and look at me as their mother kept yanking their arms to get them
away from me!
I don’t THINK I look like anyone to be afraid of.......but I
guess in this day and age everyone, even gray haired old ladies, aren’t to be trusted…..and
isn’t that the saddest thing you’ve ever heard.
Monday, November 13, 2017
Punny Monday
The early bird might get the worm, but the
second mouse gets the cheese.
(footnote:I'm running out of good puns so I've decided to switch to PARAPROSDOKIANS.
PARAPROSDOKIANS (Winston Churchill loved them) are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently humorous.)
Friday, November 10, 2017
Thursday, November 9, 2017
Thoughts on a Thursday
The downside of renovation: You can’t remember where you put
anything once a room is finished and rearranged. You CAN remember where it was twenty years and three houses
ago---but not where the item is right NOW----when
you need it! (That is if you didn't throw said item away in a fit of purging! LOL)
Wednesday, November 8, 2017
Tuesday, November 7, 2017
Monday, November 6, 2017
Punny Monday
(footnote:I'm running out of good puns so I've decided to switch to PARAPROSDOKIANS.
PARAPROSDOKIANS (Winston Churchill loved them) are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently humorous.)
Friday, November 3, 2017
And Now For Something Entirely Different......
Sometimes I get bored working 2-dimensionally.......I get an urge to play with something tangible in my hands.
A while ago (and I'm embarrassed to say it was really years ago) I was playing with papier machè and I made a bunch of 'heads/bodies' by covering water balloons with strips of newspaper dipped in glue.
But then I lost interest.....SQUIRREL.....and moved on to other things.
The other day that tangible urge struck again and I remembered the box of 'eggs' under the work bench. I dragged them out, dusted them off and now find myself adding paper clay and making.....I don't know what.......
This is what I've done so far. I'm curious to see what they become....because I have no idea whatsoever.....lol.
A while ago (and I'm embarrassed to say it was really years ago) I was playing with papier machè and I made a bunch of 'heads/bodies' by covering water balloons with strips of newspaper dipped in glue.
But then I lost interest.....SQUIRREL.....and moved on to other things.
The other day that tangible urge struck again and I remembered the box of 'eggs' under the work bench. I dragged them out, dusted them off and now find myself adding paper clay and making.....I don't know what.......
This is what I've done so far. I'm curious to see what they become....because I have no idea whatsoever.....lol.
Thursday, November 2, 2017
Thoughts on a Thursday
The road to
divorce ….is paved with GPS devices. When there is a GPS AND a wife in the car
there is one too many navigators…..
Wednesday, November 1, 2017
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