Again....

I dreamed about 7 Endicott again last night. The dreams have become less frequent but still just as unsettling. This time we were there getting ready to re-sell the house. It’s never clear how we’ve come to own it again but the task is clear. We must empty it and get it ready to put on the market.

It is FULL of my mother’s possessions. And I am thrust back into that gut wrenching pain of loss I felt when she died. Unable to let go of her things because that is all I have left. I walk around in a house that is both familiar and uncomfortable, unable to do anything, or make a decision. All I want to do is sit down and cry.

Then I am awake. Left with the feeling of loss and confusion and trying to figure out where I am and who I am.

Is that the point of the dream?

Am I having an existential crisis so many years after the fact? I don’t know.

Or maybe it was the part of the dream where Husband was wearing one of my mother’s house dresses because his clothes were soaked from some sort of accident and that was all he could find to put on while he dried his clothes…..

Either way it was a disturbing dream!