Punny Monday

A duck walks in to a drugstore and says to the clerk behind the counter, ‘Give me a Chapstick and put it on my bill.’

I'm Trying, I Really Am.......

I'm trying to do the lessons as I'm supposed to, I really am....
But 'they' just won't let me......
Here I'm playing with wet on wet watercolor.........

And here's the result after I 'tweaked' it................

It's not done, but I'll have to wait and see what he thinks.......

Happy Turkey Day

(Thanks, CJ!)

Wordless Wednesday

Paint Splat

I am currently taking (another) online painting class…..this time from Wyanne Thompson. 

I stumbled upon her work on Facebook and one thing led to another….. you know how it is……you do a Google search, find a website, then link to YouTube videos (of which there are MANY…….) poke around in her Etsy shop.....peruse her blog.......

So after a few days of hemming and hawing I decided to treat myself to her Watercolor Wyanne’s Way class.

I’m about half way through watching all the videos, and during one video I notice a paint splat on the side of her painting table.

I couldn’t stop myself……...........

Took a screenshot…….

imported into Photoshop...........

 tweaked here and there......... sent it to Tabley; added the finishing touches and voilà! 

A new addition to the creature family.

Punny Monday

I tried talking about our future but he just kept bringing up my past. It was a tense conversation.

I'm Just Screwing With Your Head.....

Husband doesn’t answer the phone…unless it’s family (and sometimes not even then.)

EVER.

Which is why when the caller said he had spoken to him two weeks ago and Husband said to call back I was……skeptical.

I don’t usually answer the unidentified calls either. We screen our calls like Ninjas. But I was waiting for a particular call and wasn’t sure it would come in as an identified number so I answered.

Big mistake….HUGE, as Julia Roberts said.

I usually tell the callers that Husband  is dead….or I pretend to get all choked up and tell them through barely held back tears that he abandoned me for a younger woman and to go call him at HER residence.

I find it amusing listening to their responses. Mostly they just hang up. (Very disappointing!)

But for some reason I took a different tack with this gentleman.

I told him I found it…… far-fetched……that he ever spoke to Husband and if he was selling something telling me a lie that he had spoken to Husband was not the most intelligent way to go about making a sale.

He assured me he wasn’t lying or selling anything, but his ‘notes’ showed that he HAD actually spoken to Husband on the sixth and he was ‘just following up’ on that conversation.

As it turned out he was calling because he wanted to make an appointment to come to the house to ‘educate’ us on our upcoming eligibility for Medicare. (And offer us a supplemental policy.)

After some banter back and forth about how confusing Medicare can be….yadda yadda yadda… I told him I didn’t find it confusing at all and any information I needed could be found on the government website.

I was getting bored with the conversation at this point so I said, “Look, I understand that insurance sales is a difficult business and that cold calls really suck, but I’m getting tired of yanking your chain so please don’t call anymore.”

There was a long pause and he finally said, “You’re from New York aren’t you?”

I get the feeling this type of behavior isn’t going to bode well on my heavenly score card when I get to the pearly gates…….

Throwback Thursday

My mother. 

Picture taken by my father when they were dating....as you can tell by her pose....

ba dum tsh...

Wordless Wednesday

Believe it or Not

Years ago I was addicted to coke.

Severely and heavily addicted.

I had to have it….everyday. 

 Coke and potato chips was my 'go to' breakfast of choice.

I haven’t been able to drink it for years now but I broke down and had some with my one slice of pizza I treated myself to last night for dinner. 
I am now going to type a sentence that I never thought I'd EVER say in a million years…..

It wasn’t as good as I remember. 

Punny Monday

When the cannibal showed up late to the luncheon, they gave him the cold shoulder.

It’s Too F%#@ing Hot!!!

I want to go outside and play but it’s too f%#@ing HOT!

I swear it’s so hot the palm trees are MELTING!! 

Where is the beautiful balmy winter weather the tourist bureau promised??

I want a refund!

Throwback Thursday

Little BigBro

Wordless Wednesday

Had to Share This......

(Thanks, Liza! lol)

Punny Monday

Need an ark to save two of every animal? I Noah guy......

First Half (more or less....)

DONE!

 

Throwback Thursday

Dig those saddle shoes! 

(When I was a kid she was always trying to talk me into wearing saddle shoes. "Ewww, NO!")

Wordless Wednesday

Who Knew.......

The trees from The Wizard Of Oz were originally from my city? 

Punny Monday

I used to be a banker but I lost interest!