The dreams started soon after the funeral.
Always the same.
I had to get the new owner out of the house so she had
somewhere to come home to.
Even in the dream I wondered how she was going to accomplish
it, having been cremated, she had no body to come back in.
Still, in the dream I dutifully crawled on my belly,
commando style, up the hill to her house to get rid of the new owner.
The dreams varied only by which house it was. Sometimes it
was a crazy quilt conglomeration of all the houses we had ever lived in. But it
was still my job to get everyone out in preparation for her return.
Sometimes in the dream I was happy she was coming home.
Sometimes I was bothered by it. Sometimes I thought she hadn’t really died and
I had sold the house out from under her.
But last night’s dream was different.
I was already in the house preparing for her arrival, but
this time it was MY house, and I heard her say, “It’s time to let some of this
stuff go.”
I know she’s right.
I’ve held onto too much of what had been hers. Trying to
live in the past and not being fully in the present.
It’s time to let go.
After eighteen years I think I finally can.
Funny how the mind works isn’t it?
I hear you.
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure I'm there, yet. More worried that I'd be haunted for getting rid of her stuff. :-D
ReplyDeleteDreams are very strange things.
DeleteFeels good…doesn't it?
ReplyDeleteThat was a good dream, letting go can also feel good.
ReplyDeleteWhere is the fiction? Dreams like this are real!
ReplyDeleteYou really have a way with words ... ♥
ReplyDeleteI was just thinking the same thing!!
Delete