Aunt Leah

I didn’t even know I had an Aunt Leah until I was nineteen years old.

We were in Miami for a long weekend and as we waited for her to pick us up from our hotel I was given a quick character sketch.

She was the family black sheep.

Was a flapper in her youth.

Ran with bootleggers.

Had been married more than four times (they lost count) and it was suggested she didn’t always legally divorce one husband before moving on to the next.

She had written a book about her misspent youth on Long Island (which I searched for when I got home but could never find!)

In other words she was a true eccentric!

She lived up to all my expectations the moment I saw her!

A crazy old lady, bigger than life with a loud voice and a contagious laugh! Her high heels were at least two sizes too big for her feet, she carried a huge straw handbag, had flaming red lipstick that matched her cats eye sunglasses and her dyed too dark for her age black hair piled high on her head!

I liked her immediately!

??????????

Man, the world is ganging up on me lately! 

Look what the dentist gave me! LOL

Sheesh! 

Patsy and Gerald

Grandmother Was Bats**t Crazy: Con’t

One of the ‘chores’ we had when visiting Grandma was taking out the garbage.

She kept the can in the basement.

You never saw a basement like this.

It was pristine!

You could have literally eaten off the floor.

And it was completely, totally, utterly empty except for the garbage can.

The basement floor was painted to within an inch of its life with glossy grey sealant. The walls were glossy white.

And sitting right in the center was the garbage can.

So shiny and new looking you would think it was never used.

She would spread out newspaper on the floor, and the can would be lined with newspaper.

As you filled it with garbage you had to fold down the pages of the newspaper to cover the garbage so it wouldn’t stink.

And the ONLY time we were allowed in the basement was to take down the garbage.

We weren’t allowed to play down there because we might get it dirty!

The basement!

We might get the basement DIRTY!  HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Have I mentioned she was OCD?

I Hate When That Happens

I hate it when you wake from a disturbing dream with the same feeling you had in the dream.

I had a very weird dream (even for me, LOL) last night.

I killed a man.

It was someone who was abusing a friend (although which friend was kind of murky.)

I stuck a knife in his gut.

Simple as that.

In the bathroom (where else?)

Then I was rummaging through the house looking for a dress to wear to the police station.

It wasn’t my house and it was very messy with things strewn all about.

And lots of people who were angry with me for what I did.

There were an inordinate number of dressers I had to look through and I couldn’t find any undergarments.

I felt bad about killing the guy, but on the other hand he was abusing my friend.

Talk about ambivalent! LOL

I never did find an appropriate dress, and then Husband woke me up.

Anybody out there want to have a go at dream interpretation? LOL

Bored

What Do You Want To Do When You Grow Up?

“What do you want to do when you grow up?” they would ask her.

“Color!” she would say.

“You can’t!” they’d say. “Coloring isn’t a job, it’s a pastime!”

“You have to pick a job.” they’d say. “Doctor, Lawyer, Indian Chief.”

“Color!” she would reply.

 “But you CAN’T make a life out of coloring!” they’d say.

“COLOR!” she would shout.

“YOUCAN’T!” they’d say.
“CAN’T!”

“CAN’T!”

“CAN’T!”

“CAN’T!”

“CAN’T!”

 And she would lie on the floor filling book after book with her bright and vivid colors.

Gonna Buy A Paper Doll That I Can Call My Own

I had a brainstorm about making paper dolls from some of my sketches.

Maybe offering them for sale in my Etsy shop.

Apparently these guys didn’t think so much of the idea, as you can tell from their less than thrilled expressions during the photo shoot!

(Proving once again, not all of my ideas are brilliant! LOL)

I Think My Closet Might Be a Stargate

At least that’s what I’m hoping!

We have a very large mirror in our bathroom. It spans the wall over the double vanity. Directly behind it and off at a slight angle is our closet.

The other morning as I was drying my hair I saw Husband (in the mirror) walk into the closet.

This is not unusual.

It’s a walk in closet and quite large so we use it for storage as well as clothing.

The strange part was he didn’t come out.

I didn’t think too much of it. I just thought he was taking slightly longer to fish something out of the depths.

I kept waiting for him to emerge.

And waiting

And waiting.

I finished drying my hair and went to look in the closet to see what he was up to. (You know, just in case of “Help! I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!”)

He wasn’t there.

There was no way he could have emerged without me seeing him.

I went out to the living room to find him watching TV.

“Were you just in our room?” I asked.

“No.” was his reply.

I KNOW I saw someone go into the closet!

I'd much rather entertain the idea that my closet is a Stargate than to consider the other possibilities...................lol

It Was Inevitable

We stopped for a late lunch the other day.

The teenage cashier took one look at us and didn’t even ask! 

Hahahahahaha!