.....and other random stuff......

Tuesday, July 12, 2016

Velveeta Cheese Sandwiches

Have I mentioned my mother was a good cook? I might even say she was a gourmet cook. She eschewed using the ‘short cuts’ of her day, i.e. cream of anything soup, processed cheese, frozen dinners, etc.
She made her own stock, end of the garden relish (which is a whole ‘nother story) pickles, etc.…. My point is she didn’t like processed stuff.
We didn’t grow up with Wonder bread like all the other kids (and I secretly longed for) oh no, we had Pepperidge Farms bread. REAL bread! Bread you could sink your teeth into! (Yeah, I know….insert confused face at the oxymoron that was my mother here.)
What I’m saying is she had her definite opinions about food.
One of her more adamant opinions was about Velveeta cheese. That ‘industrial block of chemicals’ is what she called it. It wasn’t allowed to cross our threshold. 
Until…..
We were on vacation in Canada. We took a cruise up the St. Lawrence River. At every port of call my father took us to see all the churches and cathedrals in town. I never knew there were so many churches in Canada!
But I digress…
At one town my father rented a car. He wanted to visit a church that was too far to walk to, so we hopped in the car and drove….
And drove……
And drove…..
We hadn’t come prepared for such a long trip and hadn’t brought anything to eat. We were getting hungrier by the minute. The countryside where we were driving, although picturesque, was totally devoid of people or businesses.
After what seemed like forever we saw a quaint little country store. 
Salvation!
As we stepped inside our hearts sank. Although cute it was totally lacking anything edible. My father struck up a conversation with the owner explaining out plight and the man graciously offered to make us some sandwiches in the back room where he lived. My mother was….skeptical, but what choice did we have?
The storekeeper made the sandwiches, wrapped them neatly in waxed paper, gave us three bottles of warm Coke and off we went to find a spot to have an impromptu picnic.
We found an open spot on the side of the road and spread out our feast on a small blanket we found in the trunk.
 My mother unwrapped the first sandwich…….Velveeta Cheese on white bread with mustard! She passed it to my father. She unwrapped the second sandwich……. Velveeta Cheese on white bread with mustard….and handed it to me. At this point she realized what the third sandwich was going to be and resigned herself to her fate.
As she bit into it, it was as if the heavens opened and you could hear angels singing! The look on her face was pure rapture! As she chewed she proclaimed this to be the BEST sandwich she had ever eaten in her entire life! I think the exact word she used was ambrosia! 
Just goes to show ya’…… circumstances are everything!!

She never ate Velveeta Cheese again, but she waxed poetic about THAT picnic and THAT particular Velveeta Cheese sandwich for the rest of her life. NOTHING ever tasted as good as that sandwich!

(PS In case you’re wondering why BigBro wasn’t with us, he was at Boy Scout camp that summer.)

Monday, July 11, 2016

Punny Monday

Where do you take a sick boat? 
To the ‘dock’! 

Friday, July 8, 2016

Flash Fiction Friday----Last One Standing

The number of cards he had to buy had slowly been dwindling over the years. As he stood in front of the colorful display he could remember when he used to spend over one hundred dollars, just for the month of May. More often than not these days he found himself in the sympathy section.

I wonder why there is no ALONE section he thought. An area for cards that say I’m sorry you’re left here by yourself.
With no one who gets the inside jokes, no one who understands the familial references.

People are always remembering the ones who have departed. But no one remembers the ones left behind. They seem to become invisible. That was a good word for it he thought. He felt invisible. No one ever seemed to notice him anymore. No one asked for his opinion or his advice. He felt like a distant memory, neatly folded and tucked away on a dusty shelf in the back of the closet. 

He was lonely.

Tuesday, July 5, 2016

Mindful Mess

I have a question for you. Do you find yourself drawing differently depending on what type of medium/substrate you use? Or WHAT you’re drawing/sketching?
I find when I’m drawing certain subjects I give myself waypoints so I don’t get too out of whack.
But other times I just put pen to paper and let ‘er rip!

For some reason that’s the way I roll in my black sketchbook.  I have no idea why. What in my brain tells me to just wing it in that particular place?? All the sketches are totally lacking symmetry and scale and are completely out of kilter.
And let’s not even discuss the lettering!
But it’s by far my favorite sketchbook!!!

This is an exercise from the ‘Yellow’ class. Draw a mess. A mindful drawing, taking your time. It’s the view of the table when I sit in the 'Grandpa’ chair (which explains the point of view and some of the wackiness!)
The muse is being kind today.  
This page makes me smile! 

Monday, July 4, 2016

Punny Monday

Did you hear about the crime that happened in a parking garage? 
It was wrong on so many levels.

Friday, July 1, 2016

Flash Fiction Friday

I hadn’t seen her in almost seventeen years. As a matter of fact I walked right past her. We were supposed to meet at the restaurant at six and I was running late. As I rushed up to the entrance I pushed past her to open the door. When I got inside it hit me that the woman I just rushed past had the same devious smile that she used to have.
I spun around and there she stood grinning from ear to ear.
She was at least half the size she used to be if not more.
Literally.
I blinked.
“How did you do it?” I asked.
“I got sick.”
“Sick?”
“Gut busting, vomit spewing, come to Jesus sick.  And afterwards it was like the illness hit my reset button. I couldn’t eat.”
In all the conversations we’d had over the years, on the phone, texting, messaging, she never once mentioned that she was dieting. Not even a hint.

And I had to admit, as I sat across the table from her, I was just a little jealous.