.....and other random stuff......

Friday, December 29, 2017

Flash fiction Friday

“Don’t sell the land!”

Those were the last words my father ever spoke before he died. Sitting at his bedside in the hospital my sister and I looked at each other in total confusion.

We had lived our entire lives in apartments growing up. So had our father. As far as we knew he had been born in our grandmother’s apartment on Lewis Street. So an utterance like this was a mystery.

After the funeral we got to work looking though every piece of paper in my father’s possession. We looked in his office. We looked in his apartment. We checked to see if he had a secret safety deposit box, or maybe even a hidden ‘space’ in his apartment. 
We took our time and poured over everything looking for clues.

Nothing, nada, zilch.

For twenty years his dying words haunted us.

Then, one day, the mailman delivered an envelope with familiar handwriting on it. I wasn’t sure what I was seeing and I was even less sure I wanted to open it. It was distinctly my father’s handwriting.


After what seemed like an eternity of indecision I ripped it open. One single sheet of paper folded in half. 


Even from the grave my father could pull off one hell of a practical joke!


*This has been a work of fiction. 
Any similarities to persons living or dead are purely coincidental. 

Thursday, December 28, 2017

Thoughts on a Thursday

How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings? 

Monday, December 25, 2017

Merry Christmas


Wishing you love this holiday season! 

Friday, December 22, 2017

A Sign from ‘The Other Side’….or Something Mystical Like That….

This is BigBro’s Christmas cactus.




Grown from a clipping, taken 19 ½ years ago from our mother’s plant….that was from a clipping from HER mother’s plant that had been around as long as I can remember!
(I took our mother’s plant but, unfortunately, I killed it with kindness. The less said about that the better….)
Whenever my plant, and now BigBro’s bloom I always take it as a sign from our mother. She’s ‘out there’ somewhere showing us she’s still got an eye on us.

Merry Christmas mom! 
(and an 'atta' boy to BigBro for keeping his plant alive!)

Thursday, December 21, 2017

Tuesday, December 19, 2017

Ingenuity....Thy Name is Husband

We were wondering where all the 'sawdust' was coming from.....little trails of it everywhere.

He is, after all, working on my truck. Not something around the house that MIGHT involve sawdust. 

Then it hit him....it wasn't sawdust....it was crumbled foam padding from his boot!!!! 
No time to stop and shop for new boots....
ingenuity at it's finest! 

I would have used duct tape....to each his own......lol.

Monday, December 18, 2017

Punny Monday

 Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America ?
(footnote:I'm running out of good puns so I've decided to switch to PARAPROSDOKIANS.
PARAPROSDOKIANS (Winston Churchill loved them) are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently humorous.)

Friday, December 15, 2017

Flash Fiction Friday

I Bumped Into An Old Love The Other Day…..

What have I done with my life, you ask.
Probably nothing you would think was earth shattering.

I met another wandering soul, who could see me like I thought you once did.
We have shared our lives and our love, both the good and the bad.
Mostly good.
We brought into this world two more loving souls and taught them well, I think.

I have tried to stay true to the ideals I thought you and I once shared.
I think I have mostly succeeded.

I have thought of you over the years and wondered.
What would it have been like if we had followed the dreams we wove together.

In looking back I know I have chosen well.
  

What have you done with yours?

Thursday, December 14, 2017

Tuesday, December 12, 2017

Introducing the First Egghead

I bet you’ve been wondering how it’s going with the papier–mâché guys I started before Thanksgiving. I’m sure it’s been keeping you up at night! LOL

Well……I’ve been s-l-o-w-l-y working on them. One at a time. Letting them tell me what they want/need.

The first one finished was this guy.

I waited for him to introduce himself and tell me his story.

His name is Fuzziwig. He told me he once worked as a clerk in a counting house in London. But because of his lackluster attitude toward the business he got sacked. He now works as a runway model in Paris. An occupation for which he is quite qualified with his stoic look and his ram rod posture.

Be sure you have your sound turned on...I worked hard on this audio track! ;)

I treated myself to a new software suite for Christmas. Camtasia
I want to learn how to make better videos without pulling my hair out in frustration with the free software.

Fuzziwig’s photo shoot was my first attempt. I had fun doing it….sitting at the computer and laughing out loud to myself!

I love it when a plan comes together!

Monday, December 11, 2017

Punny Monday

 Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish.
(footnote:I'm running out of good puns so I've decided to switch to PARAPROSDOKIANS.
PARAPROSDOKIANS (Winston Churchill loved them) are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently humorous.)

Friday, December 8, 2017

Arbitrary Reflections....on a Friday

When my mother died I was tasked with cleaning out her house and getting it ready for sale. I wasn’t much surprised by anything I found until I went down into the basement. There, behind the stairs in a dark corner was a cobbled together set of shelves. Made from leftover wood, two by fours and bits of plywood. Not pretty but sturdy and functional. And on these narrow shelves were jars and jars of my grandmother’s canning. Vegetables from her victory garden that she had 'put up' years ago. Some of them were pristine and recognizable and some were black with spoilage.

It hit me like a ton of bricks. My grandmother had died many years before, in a different town hundreds of miles away from this dark basement. And yet my mother had rescued the jars and kept them all these years. I had been in and out of this basement many times but somehow I had never noticed them.


In that moment of fresh grief for my mother’s passing I felt a connection to her that I hadn’t felt before. She missed her mother as much as I was missing her. It was as if she had placed those jars there for me, just for this moment when she knew I would need them. As if to say, “I know. I know how you’re feeling and here is tangible proof that I understand.” A cosmic ‘hug’ if you will from my female ancestors who knew exactly when and where I would need it.

Thursday, December 7, 2017

Thoughts on a Thursday

Remember, poor choices often make the best stories.

                                                     ----Jenny Lawson, You Are Here

Tuesday, December 5, 2017

Monday, December 4, 2017

Punny Monday

  Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
(footnote:I'm running out of good puns so I've decided to switch to PARAPROSDOKIANS.
PARAPROSDOKIANS (Winston Churchill loved them) are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently humorous.)

Friday, December 1, 2017

♪♫♪♫♪ We Are Family ♪♫♪♫♪

Toastin' the tootsies around the fire pit.....me and my 'boys'......bliss....♥♥♥♥



Thursday, November 30, 2017

Thoughts on a Thursday

You start to suspect you're not looking your best when the waitress refers to your sons as your GRANDSONS!!!

Tuesday, November 28, 2017

Thanksgiving Continues......

Just looking for some leftovers, mom! 
Son2 in his 'onesie'......LOL 

Monday, November 27, 2017

Punny Monday

    “A fool and his money are soon elected.” — Will Rogers
(footnote:I'm running out of good puns so I've decided to switch to PARAPROSDOKIANS.
PARAPROSDOKIANS (Winston Churchill loved them) are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently humorous.)

Friday, November 24, 2017

Stream Of Consciousness Thoughts While Hugging the Porcelain Bowl

OMG OMG OMG wave of nausea rolling in.
I’m NOT going to throw up, I’m NOT going to throw up, I’m NOT going to throw up.
Uh oh…mouth beginning to water….here it comes……
NONONONONO!  Mind over matter, you can do it, think it away.
I WILL NOT THROW UP! I WILL NOT THROW UP!  I WILL NOT THROW UP!
Whatever happened to that pact I made with the Devil in college to never throw up again in exchange for my soul?
Did it expire or something?
Devil where are you when I need you?
I shouldn’t have had that second helping at dinner.
C’mon it’s all concentration; you can do it, think nice, pretty, soothing thoughts.
Mom used to say ‘better an empty house than a bad tenant.’
She was wrong!
Good thing I washed the throw rug. At least my knees have a little padding to rest on.
The toilet lid makes a great handle to hold onto.
I could probably just sleep here for the night.
I wonder what the rest of the world is doing right now.

I wish I was dead.

Thursday, November 23, 2017

Thoughts on a Thursday

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered? 

Tuesday, November 21, 2017

I’ve Decided My Lousy Housekeeping Is a Public Service

Here’s my thinking……if I keep a perfect (ahem) house, dust free and orderly, then anyone who comes over is going to feel bad that THEIR house can’t live up to my high standards! They will fall into a deep depression because of my pristine housekeeping. Therefore, if I DON’T dust and I DON’T put things in their proper places….THEN whenever anyone visits they are going to feel SO superior by comparison they’ll be floating on cloud nine for DAYS….. maybe even WEEKS!
You’re welcome!  

Monday, November 20, 2017

Punny Monday

   I discovered I scream the same way whether I’m about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.
(footnote:I'm running out of good puns so I've decided to switch to PARAPROSDOKIANS.
PARAPROSDOKIANS (Winston Churchill loved them) are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently humorous.)

Friday, November 17, 2017

Taa Daa It's Finally Done

....well, except for the area rug......which, for the life of me, I can't decide on....
This is looking from the foyer into the laundry room.


This is looking from the garage into the laundry room (it was easier to take the 'panorama' shot from this angle.)


And THIS is the reason for the whole re-do. I wanted a broom closet to keep the vacuum cleaner in. It's a 30" cabinet....add that to the width of the machines and you don't have enough room for the sink cabinet.....BUT....with the weird little 'wedge' of empty space behind the machines and Husband's amazing abilities he made it work! He placed the machines at an angle that allowed him to fit the sink base between them and the broom closet (with a bit of customizing.)  
There is more storage space than I have 'stuff'! But storage is always at a premium so thinking ahead about re-sale value we thought it was a good idea to use all the space we had and put cabinets up to the ceiling. I need the step stool to reach them but storage is storage and I've only put things that we hardly ever need or look for up there.  
And this is the little step stool I bought at Ikea (in the children's section) so I can actually see the settings on the dryer! 
Once I can make up my mind about a rug it will be officially DONE! 
But for now I just wander in there to admire it's gloriousness.....and occasionally do a load of laundry! 

Thursday, November 16, 2017

Thoughts on a Thursday

Somewhere between the comfort of a routine and the misery of a rut lies contentment.

Tuesday, November 14, 2017

It’s No Longer the World I’m Used To

Don’t worry, I’m not going to get all preachy or political (not that I couldn’t but we’ll leave that for cooler heads.) No, the story I’m going to relate is sort of the way I feel the world is spinning out of control…….and it’s sad.

As I was running errands the other day I noticed a young mother and her two little girls. We were at the library and we checked out at the same time but at different kiosks. As I walked to my car they were behind me, the little girls were telling their mom about their school day. 

I got into my car, they got into theirs. I drove off to my next errand. 

As I was walking into the supermarket noticed I was behind the same mom and little girls. I didn’t say anything……..at first….but when we all turned down the same aisle I laughed and said to them, “We have to stop meeting like this!” And I continued saying, “I was just at the library and noticed you and now here we are again!” because apparently she didn’t understand why I was making the joke…….

The look on the mom’s face was complete horror as she grabbed the girl’s hands tighter and literally dragged them down the aisle as one of them tried to reach for something on the shelf. The girls were trying to turn around and look at me as their mother kept yanking their arms to get them away from me! 


I don’t THINK I look like anyone to be afraid of.......but I guess in this day and age everyone, even gray haired old ladies, aren’t to be trusted…..and isn’t that the saddest thing you’ve ever heard.

Monday, November 13, 2017

Punny Monday

  The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
(footnote:I'm running out of good puns so I've decided to switch to PARAPROSDOKIANS.
PARAPROSDOKIANS (Winston Churchill loved them) are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently humorous.)

Friday, November 10, 2017

Progress.....

....sort of.....




Someone said they look a bit scary.....I prefer to think of them as 'quirky'.....lol 

Thursday, November 9, 2017

Thoughts on a Thursday

The downside of renovation: You can’t remember where you put anything once a room is finished and rearranged. You CAN remember where it was twenty years and three houses ago---but not where the item is right NOW----when you need it! (That is if you didn't throw said item away in a fit of purging! LOL)

Tuesday, November 7, 2017

Yikes! It's Official!

No matter how hard I tried.......I couldn't stop the inevitable! 

Monday, November 6, 2017

Punny Monday

(footnote:I'm running out of good puns so I've decided to switch to PARAPROSDOKIANS.
PARAPROSDOKIANS (Winston Churchill loved them) are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently humorous.)

Friday, November 3, 2017

And Now For Something Entirely Different......

Sometimes I get bored working 2-dimensionally.......I get an urge to play with something tangible in my hands. 

A while ago (and I'm embarrassed to say it was really years ago) I was playing with papier machè and I made a bunch of  'heads/bodies' by covering water balloons with strips of newspaper dipped in glue. 
But then I lost interest.....SQUIRREL.....and moved on to other things. 

The other day that tangible urge struck again and I remembered the box of 'eggs' under the work bench. I dragged them out, dusted them off and now find myself adding paper clay and making.....I don't know what.......

This is what I've done so far. I'm curious to see what they become....because I have no idea whatsoever.....lol.



 
 


Thursday, November 2, 2017

Thoughts on a Thursday

The road to divorce ….is paved with GPS devices. When there is a GPS AND a wife in the car there is one too many navigators…..

Tuesday, October 31, 2017

I Can’t Wait to Show You….

Even though it’s not finished.

So it started off here….sort of. I forgot to take a before picture, I almost always forget to take a before picture….but you get the idea.


And then came the new machines. The unbelievably, amazingly, ridiculously priced machines! 


And then the new layout and cabinets. We’re still waiting for the delivery of the sink and faucet, and Husband needs to make the counter and back splash but I couldn’t wait to show you! 


And the funny thing is, even with more in the room it seems BIGGER! I’m loving how it’s turning out! Pretty soon Husband will ‘hand me the keys’ as he puts it and I’ll be able to add those nice little touches… like art on the walls, and a beautiful new rug. I also get to put everything back in the cabinets!  

I won't go into details, because that would be totally boring, but....Husband had to 'finesse' the cabinets to fit into the space we have (the sink cabinet was 1 1/2" too big to fit in between the machines and the other cabinet.) And that piece above the machines he had to design and make from scratch because the room is a weird shape and that part is at an angle....I warned you the details were boring.....What I'm saying is he is awesome and incredibly talented and he can do MATHS! 

(PS If the picture looks a little 'wonky' in places it's because I used the panorama mode to get it all into one shot.)