February

A whole month with no doctor’s appointments!

Whoohoo!

No doctors,

no dentists,

no poking,

no prodding,

no tests,

no scans,

no blood work,

no follow ups!

Say it with me…YAY!

I know I’m probably jinxing myself by posting this but I got great joy out of turning the page of the calendar this morning and seeing a blissfully empty month spreading out in front of me!

Cheap Entertainment

We used to go for car rides a lot when I was a kid. I guess it was cheap entertainment for our parents.

Sunday drives were the best.

One of our favorite Sunday drives consisted of cruising the neighborhood to watch a particular neighbor tend to his lawn.

He used to work on his lawn in his stocking feet. No shoes, no sandals just his black knee-hi socks (with garters!) Bermuda shorts and golf shirt.

He claimed it was so he wouldn’t ‘bruise’ the blades of grass.

But then he would take a bamboo stick, which he had shredded at one end, and BEAT the lawn!

Seriously.

He would walk methodically back and forth in a pattern across his front yard beating the lawn.

I don’t know why we found it so funny. (Well, okay, yes I do. LOL)

We would drive past his house trying to keep a straight face until we were several houses away and out of earshot, then we would all burst out laughing.

Like I said, cheap entertainment! 

(Looking back on it now, I’m wondering what kind of example this was for my parents to set for us!)

Let’s Play a Game

Ann at StudioHyde said she likes the silly nonsensical words that one has to type in order to leave a comment on blogs too. 

At one point she had the idea to compile them into a book and to come up with definitions for them. 

A Blog Comment Word Dictionary, if you will.

Brilliant Ann!

So let’s play.

Here’s the word:  apoging

Now your job (should you decide to accept it) is to come up with a definition for it. And leave it in the comment section.

No rules, no guidelines, just pure silliness and imagination!

(Also no reward or prize.  Just the satisfaction of knowing you did a good job, as my parents used to say!)

Let’s see how long we can ‘pass it around’!

Go!

The Motel Chronicles, con’t

It’s Friday night, the first night of our week’s vacation.

We’re relaxing in the living room discussing what to do. We see a commercial advertising cut rate flights to California and discount car rentals.

Half an hour later we’re booked and on our way.

We fly into San Francisco and spend a few days exploring the northern regions of California. Every afternoon we find a pay phone and call the 800 number for motel reservations.

No problems.

I even make friends with the 800 operator!

After San Francisco we drive down to LA.

(FYI: if you ever decide to drive the Pacific Coast Highway, don’t do it heading south. That puts you on the OUTSIDE lane. And there are places where the pavement has crumbled away leaving no shoulder or even the white line designating where the shoulder USED to be! California doesn’t seem to believe in guard rails, and it’s a LOOOOONG way down to the ocean! Just sayin’.)

We don’t really like LA so we head to Palm Springs.

When we arrive we call ‘Jim’ to have him book us a room.

 “Are you kidding?” he says. “There’s not a room for a three hundred mile radius of Palm Springs because of the International Date Festival!”

The what?

THE INTERNATIONAL DATE FESTIVAL!

Who knew there was a whole festival celebrating the DATE!?

(Preakness flashback!)

Jim was right. Every motel we stop at is booked.

At 3 AM we come upon The Bates Motel.

I kid you not!

BATES! (Someone had a very twisted sense of humor!)

But it’s late and we’re exhausted and they have a vacancy, so we get a room.

We didn’t sleep a wink!

We lay in bed staring at the ceiling waiting for Norman to show up dressed as mother!

The good news is he didn’t!

As the sun was rising we were dressed and gone!

We didn’t even ‘check out’! Just left the key in the room!


Do you notice a pattern developing here? LOL

The Red Corvette

Husband and I worked for the same company. 

A very large company.

Different departments, but we still ran into one another and had many, many mutual co-workers who knew we were married.

One year for Christmas I bought him a red Corvette.

(It’s a long and boring story so I won’t go into it, but the end result was I bought the car and gave it to him.)

The story spread like wildfire through the company. And I got a great reputation for being the wife who bought her husband a bright shiny red Corvette!

Everyone thought I was marvelous!

(The part I never told anyone was--- right after I gave Husband the keys to the car I also handed him the payment book for the loan!)

No need to shatter my image, right? LOL

Yummy Goodness

Not that I want to rub it in to all of you living in northern climates (sorry!)

But this has become our favorite dessert. I requested it instead of birthday cake this year!

YUM!

Fruit Salad Recipe

Strawberries

Blueberries  

Pineapple

Cut into bite sized pieces (well, except for the blueberries) place in large bowl, mix well.

Pile high into smaller bowl and consume with great enthusiasm! (I was going to say consume with relish but I thought it might make for misunderstandings! LOL)

When bowl is empty, lament woefully and lick the juices from the bottom of your bowl like an unmannered child!

Great Grandma had a Hatpin

She gave it to my mother when my mother moved to Manhattan.

“For protection.’ said great Grandma.

My mother said it came in very handy on the subway, where she would use it on men who would get just a little too ‘familiar’.

Can you imagine this sinking into your thigh?

(You didn't mess with my mother! LOL)

I used to be Feisty

When I was twenty, I got a job as a telephone operator. It was very regimented. VERY. You were timed for EVERYTHING. You had to wait outside the office door until precisely the time your shift started, and ‘plug in’ at exactly the minute you were scheduled for.

If you were late, they ‘wrote it up’ in your permanent record!

One day I knew I was going to be late so I called to ask for time off.

The supervisor said. “No! You’d better get here PDQ!”

I got in my little four cylinder Pinto and flew like the wind to get there on time. (And I’m sure I broke a few traffic laws!)

I was ONE MINUTE late.

The supervisor said she was going to write me up.

I said, “Okay, in that case I’m going down to the cafeteria and have a cup of tea and calm down from rushing to be here on time.”

She looked at me and said, “You can’t do that!”

I said, “Watch me! If you’re going to write me up for being late then I’m going to be good and G—D------ late!”

I wonder what ever happened to that permanent record? LOL

I used to be Feisty.

Now, I’m just too tired, LOL!

I Don’t Wanna Clean

When Husband and I were both gainfully employed (and the boys were little and we were busy) we treated ourselves to a maid. Once every two weeks Nancy came and cleaned our house better than we did! She was the most amazing young woman.

It was heaven!

Then she moved.

So we hired another maid.

Her name was Ida.

She would come to the house, pick up a dust rag and proceed to lethargically run said duster over bits and pieces of furniture and a few flat surfaces here and there.

The WHOLE time she never stopped talking.

And for most of the time when she talked she stopped working!

Nancy didn’t have a time limit. She worked until the job was done.

Not Ida!

She had a strict time limit whether she was finished or not.

Husband dubbed her ‘Ida Wanna Clean’!

We haven’t had a maid since.

How I miss Nancy (because 'Ida wanna clean' either!)

No Thanks, I Just Had a Baked Apple

My mother was unflappable.

Totally unflappable.

One day as she was walking to work, a man approached  her, opened his raincoat and flashed her.

Without missing a beat she looked him straight in the eye and said, “No thanks, I just had a baked apple!”

It made no sense whatsoever, but it took the flasher by surprise that he wasn’t able to shock her.

She just kept on walking.

Unflappable!

LOL

It became another oft repeated catch phrase we used for any odd or awkward situation!