.....and other random stuff......

Friday, May 4, 2012

Parenting 101


Someone recently mentioned that her son has ventured into the public temper tantrum stage of childhood.

This got me to thinking about how we used to deal with this situation.

We are proponents of the ‘Empty Threat Theory’.

It goes like this:
When said child starts to act up in public, first you must decide if it’s a meltdown or a tantrum.

These are two very different things. A meltdown comes from overstimulation, lack of sleep, or hunger.
(Or any combination of the above.)

None of which are deliberate on the child’s part or under their control.
In this case I would just abandon whatever it was I was doing, scoop said child up and remove them from the situation.

BUT…… on the other hand, if it was a deliberate and intentional temper tantrum this is how it went down:
I would grab their upper arm and squeeze tightly, lean down and VERY quietly whisper in their ear a threat so heinous and ludicrous that they knew I would never do it (i.e. “I’m going to break off your arm and use it to beat you until you are a bloodied pile of congealed intestines if you don’t stop RIGHT NOW!”)
I kept a smile plastered on my lips but had daggers in my eyes, until their eyes would go wide and they shut up.

This was very effective on the boys.

From that point on all we needed to do was to grab their upper arm, squeeze and give them what became known as ‘the mother look’ and they knew they had crossed the line and were entering dangerous territory.

Now, I know threatening children is not the perfect way to handle a given situation, but if you’re a parent you know that there are times when it is the most expedient, if not appropriate way of dealing with the little crumb crushers.

Not that I’m suggesting you should try it of course!

Just sayin’.

6 comments:

  1. When my kids were little we pretty much stayed home or had short excursions so meltdowns didn't really occur. We only had one or two temper tantrums too with the last one I remember was when my daughter was a teenager. I don't remember what it was about but she gave me the evil eye and I slapped it off her face - right outside a Sears store. I don't know who was more shocked, her or myself. I never even had to spank the kids once they understood language and we could talk to them. I guess I had easy kids as the biggest reason for even a spanking was because a three year old insisted she could cross the street by herself. Hopefully I won't be getting a visit from social services after this confession. We are talking about 35 years ago!

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  2. Fortunately, my kids were pretty well behaved in public. I remember as a child, however, my mother would use that same tactic if we were not quiet enough in church. All she had to do was stretch her arm past the "silent child" to get to the arm of the "noisy child," and pinch. Not just a quick pinch, a pinch that lingered.... The pain of the pinch of course drew you to the look in her eyes which clearly said,"If you keep this up, I will have to kill you before lunch."

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  3. Ha ha! It works too...I'm a mother to 3 boys, two of which are at the meltdown age 2 and 3. Funny post!

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  4. Hahaha oh yeah that would work. Have a cold look for these situation too. It consist of smiling lips plus unsmiling eyes, teeth not coming very far apart while speaking. Also, address boy in question no longer with 'you' nor self with 'I' but with his first name and 'mama', respectively.

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