THE Tree

Son2’s b’day had me reminiscing.  Of all the ‘situations’ he got into growing up there are one or two that stand out in the ‘I almost had a heart attack category.’

He was a monkey as a kid. Climbed on anything and everything. Had no fear. None.

On this particular day I was picking him up from a visit with Grandma.

 I pulled into the driveway and as I got out of my car I hear a little voice call out, “Hi Mom!”

Looking around I don’t see him, so I just figure he’s in the woods somewhere hiding.

Then I hear giggling.  Strange, it sounds like it’s coming from high up. Must just be the acoustics of the trees.

Oh contraire!

“Up here, Mom!”

And as I look up I see my six year old son perched on a branch in the Hemlock tree, THIRTY FEET ABOVE THE COINCRETE DRIVEWAY.

“Okay” I say to myself, “don’t panic, don’t sound alarmed. If you do you may spook him and HE’LL panic and fall ONTO THE CONCRETE DRIVEWAY.”

My next thought is, “Where the hell is Grandma?”

So I very casually say, “Time to go kido, come on down.”

And then I do what every responsible, loving mother would do.

I go inside!

When I get inside I find my mother and son1 sitting on the couch.  

“Why aren’t you out there?” I ask.

Very calmly she says, “We couldn’t watch.”

(Insert rimshot sound effect here!)