My Life in Laundry

I was introduced to the thrills of laundry while living in my parents’ home. The washer and dryer were in the basement. The dark, dank, musty, creepy basement. I avoided doing laundry for as long as possible before being forced to go into the bowels of the house.

Then Husband and I moved to The Apartment.

They too had laundry facilities in the basement.

Except this basement was the extreme of basements.

The machines were located at the far end of the building. You had to walk through a myriad of connected rooms to get to them. Dark, unlit, creepy, scary rooms with shadowy corners where who knows what kind of muggers, rapists and axe murderers lurked.

I opted for the Laundromat down the street.

It really wasn’t much better, but at least it wasn’t in a basement!

Then too, I waited until I was out of clean unmentionables before I deemed it necessary to go. (I even bought us extra undies to prolong the task!)

The last time I went to the Laundromat, I found a guy fondling my aforementioned unmentionables as he pulled them out of the dryer.

It was then that Husband came up with the scathingly brilliant idea to get an apartment sized washer and dryer.

(It was written into our lease that this was strictly forbidden.)

But we did it anyway. And to make sure it was undetected we went to extremes to put carpet pieces under and over and around said machines to muffle any telltale noises that might give us away.

These two little mini machines were workhorses. They moved with us to our house and lived a long and meaningful life for our growing family.

The only problem was….with two little boys and a ‘handy’ husband I was constantly doing laundry. The machines could only hold so much.

Then one day the inevitable happened.

We gave them a dignified burial and went off to find new machines.

While we were at the store, the heavens parted, angels sang and the rays of the sun illuminated a ‘Laundry Center’.

A stacked full size washer/dryer.

Husband reconfigured the laundry room and I fell in love.

 I wasn’t constantly doing laundry anymore!

Fast forward to the present….when we moved into this house we bought a new washer and dryer.

Maytag.

Let me just say their commercials are total LIES!

These machines have broken down and needed more repairs than all of our previous machines combined!

The washer broke down the first week!

The repairman said it was a bobby pin lodged in the motor. 

I never even owned a bobby pin!