Bureaucracy Squared

Florida has implemented a rather thorough driver’s license renewal process due to the fact that up until recently a dead person could get a license in this state.

My time has come.

They were kind enough to send me a reminder stating all the necessary paperwork that would be needed;

Old license,

Government issued birth certificate with raised seal,

Social security card (non laminated),

And two documents proving place of residence with MY name on them (i.e. bills.)

I was prepared.

These all sat on my desk for weeks while I tried to mentally steel myself for the adventure.

(Oh for the good ole days of impersonal online renewals.)

Yesterday I made a last minute decision to get it done.

I jumped in the car at 3PM, documents in hand, and went off to find the new drivers license office.

Things were going very well.

I found the office.

I got the first parking space in the lot.

It was unusually close to the door. (In hindsight I should have known things were going too well.)

I went into the office and followed the ‘rope maze’ and stood in line.

A very nice older gentleman sitting at the desk called me over and asked what I needed.

“I need to renew my license AND I have all my necessary paperwork!” I said proudly, as I proceeded to dump it out on his desk.

He looked at my papers and said “Marriage license?”

My triumphant smile slid from my lips and I blinked.

“Marriage license, or divorce papers or a valid passport.”

“Why?”

“Your name is different than this birth certificate.”

No s**t Sherlock!

I’m a sixty year old married woman! 

Of course my name is different than my birth certificate!

I mean my name is the same I just tacked on another one; my husband’s!......is what I thought but didn’t say because…. it’s not his fault.

So I schlepped all the way home, parked the car, went in the house, got the combination to the safe (because I can never remember it),  opened the safe, found our marriage license, closed the safe, went back out to the car and……….

decided it was too late to try and race back before the office closed.

I’ll try again tomorrow.

Or maybe I’ll just give up driving……..