Flash Fiction Friday

She sat at her desk staring at her tablet, stylus in hand. Her stomach was tied up in knots. She had woken up at three that morning, the pain throbbing in her abdomen. It was always like this. She had no idea why. She never knew if it was emotional or dietary. Not that it mattered. Pain was pain. Some days it pissed her off, which only made it worse. Some days she just surrendered to it, curled up on the couch and watched old black and white movies all day.

Thoughts on a Thursday

SUBCATEGORY:

Aging.......

I have reached the age where if I’m anywhere near a bathroom, whether I need to go or not, I use it. And in my head I’m saying to myself with a shrug of my shoulders, “I’m here, I might as well go.”

What is HAPPENING to me??? 

Wordless Wednesday

HAPPY BIRTHDAY FIRST BORN!

Have a GREAT B'DAY!! 

Punny Monday

If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

(footnote:I'm running out of good puns so I've decided to switch to PARAPROSDOKIANS.

PARAPROSDOKIANS (Winston Churchill loved them) are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently humorous.)

Another Face Class

So......I took another Face class!!! Surprise, surprise, right? LOL 
This one was Making Faces with Lynn Whipple. One of the classes hosted/offered by Carla Sonheim.
I had never taken one of Lynn's classes but after reading the reviews and knowing it was hosted by Carla I jumped right in. 
And am I glad I did!
I no longer think of myself as a beginner so some of what was presented I was already aware of, but I ALWAYS learn something. Plus a class has a way of pushing your limits that you wouldn't necessarily do by yourself.  
And I wasn't disappointed.
I know I have my own style, and no matter how hard I try and emulate some of the artists I admire it comes out me anyway....but......I have to say, with Lyn's guidance, I turned out some not too shabby pieces that I quite like. 
It's a good day when I can add to my growing pile of 'friends'. 
Here are a few of the better ones. 

Thoughts on a Thursday

Husband and my mother used to tease me about who had it worse…my mother for having lived with me through the ‘formative years’, aka the teenage years, or Husband for being married to me.  (nice, right? Lol)

My mother always claimed she won on the basis of seniority. She knew me longer than Husband…end of discussion.

Which got me to thinking…she died when I was 45. I met Husband when I was 22. That means when I’m 68 (not that far away now) he’ll be able to claim me on seniority. He will have known me for longer than my mother did.

I’m not sure if that’s sad or funny……..

Wordless Wednesday

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY BOY!

Have the best birthday ever! 

Punny Monday

War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

(footnote:I'm running out of good puns so I've decided to switch to PARAPROSDOKIANS.

PARAPROSDOKIANS (Winston Churchill loved them) are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently humorous.)

Progress………More or Less

Since the GREAT A/C EXPLOSION OF 2017 and replacement thereof, we’ve had to put the house renovations on hold.

But……I’ve been able to squeeze out a few finishing touches in the bedroom.

The Big Red Chair will eventually reside in the living room, replacing Husband’s recliner (YAY! sshhhh….don’t tell him I said that…) and a new Big Grey Chair will be put in the bedroom.

But for now I feel I can call the bedroom/bathroom ‘finished’!

At least I have a nice place to retreat to when the rest of the unfinished house gets on my nerves.

Thoughts on a Thursday

Shower Thoughts

In the warm steamy recesses of my shower anything seems possible. Ideas come to me like manna from heaven. Everything is possible….writing and illustrating a children’s book….writing a serious novel….painting a stunning landscape….

The words flow as if loosened from my mind by the warmth of the water.

Ideas gush like the water from the spigot.

Then they evaporate like the steam on the mirror the moment I dry off.

Gone in an instant.

Such is creativity…….

Wordless Wednesday

Pardon Me While I Vent……

Yesterday I went to the drug store to pick up some needed toiletries. It was a store I don’t usually frequent and I was unfamiliar with its layout.

After wandering aimlessly up and down the aisles I decided the smart thing to do would be ask for assistance.

I spotted a young lady wearing a smock with the store logo and figured she might be able to help.

I was wrong.

I politely asked, “Where do you keep the emery boards, please?”  

She thought for a moment and then said, “Aisle 5, right hand side, bottom shelf. “

She sounded very knowledgeable and sure of herself so I toddled off to aisle 5.

I knew I was in the wrong place immediately. The only products in aisle 5 were school and office supplies.

I was back to indiscriminately roaming the store.

I finally found the Revlon products..…..approximately three feet from the young lady with the smock.

For a split second I considered telling her, “If you’re ever asked again where the emery boards are, this is WHAT they are and they’re located over there.”

But I decided against it.

I was afraid my helpfulness might be misinterpreted as hostility. 

Yet another child left behind…..

Punny Monday

You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

(footnote:I'm running out of good puns so I've decided to switch to PARAPROSDOKIANS.

PARAPROSDOKIANS (Winston Churchill loved them) are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently humorous.)

“How Many Holes in the Wall Does it Take to Hang a Picture?”

You’d think hanging a picture is pretty straightforward, right?

You’d be wrong.

At least for us (ahem….you know what I mean, lol.)

Here's how it goes.....
First, check to see if the framer has placed the hangers evenly on both sides of the back of the frame. (Believe me when I say to measure this! It will save much discussion later.)

Second, measure the distance between the windows and divide to find center of wall on which the picture will be hung.

Third, measure the picture frame to determine the center.

Fourth, have Husband hold picture up to wall to decide how high it should be.

Fifth, put pieces of painters tape on wall to mark all measurements.

Sixth, get confused as to which side of the painters tape marks your spot.

Seventh, when you’re ABSOLUTELY SURE you’ve measured correctly and you’re satisfied as to the placement of the picture……drill two holes and insert oversized screws (just to be sure they will bear the weight of the picture) into wall.

Eighth, hoist picture up to wall and try to catch the wire on both screws.

Ninth, swear a lot while doing number eight.

Tenth, center picture so it hangs evenly on the screws…..except….it doesn’t.

Eleventh, move picture around on screws and try to determine why it won’t hang straight.

Twelfth, take picture down and take all measurements again.

Thirteenth, conclude the solution is to move one of the screws up ½ inch to compensate for the tilt of the picture.

Fourteenth, unscrew/re-screw screw.

Fifteenth, re-hang picture and straighten.

Sixteenth, stand back and see it’s still slightly ‘off’.

Seventeenth, decide its ‘good enough’ and three giant holes in the wall is sufficient damage for one day.

So, the answer to the question at the beginning of this diatribe is THREE. It takes three holes for us to hang a picture. And for some reason, ahem, we didn't fix the extra hole. 

It also took three holes to hang the bling mirror. We never bothered to fix the third hole there either…..so both holes are still there.....behind their respective hangings……gapingly open……..you can’t see them but they haunt me…..for so many reasons….not only my OCD-ness but I lie in bed at night wondering what sort of ‘critters’ are going to come crawling in through those holes! 

Mostly I worry about the one over my side of the bed!

It's an aged and slightly damaged  blueprint of our old house up north. A little reminder of our 'previous' life. 

And the Lord Said

…..let there be coolant! 

I'm happy to report the new A/C unit is installed and working like a charm! 

Wordless Wednesday

Perspective is Everyting

Waiting for the new a/c unit to be installed.....they did give us a 'loaner' to tide us over....but.......
To cool off we float in the pool....and it's GLORIOUS...... (I don't mean to rub it in, sorry.) 
It's interesting how it changes your attitude when you change your perspective. 

The 'view' from the pool.....LOL

Punny Monday

Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

(footnote:I'm running out of good puns so I've decided to switch to PARAPROSDOKIANS.

PARAPROSDOKIANS (Winston Churchill loved them) are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently humorous.)

The Haunted Headboard

Husband finished the headboard. It's EXACTLY what I wanted! 

PERFECT!

Except......for the slight possibility it might be haunted.....lol.

Things are shaping up in the bedroom. I think it may actually be finished soon. 
(I know it LOOKS like there's no video, but click on it a couple of times to view it.)

Thoughts on a Thursday

One of the reasons I think God is male: HOT FLASHES

NOT funny, dude.