.....and other random stuff......

Friday, September 30, 2011

The Last Picnic

Okay, some of you might find this kind of a sick and twisted story (of course, in a funny way I hope.) So, in advance, I apologize if this offends anyone’s sensibilities.

My parents put a great deal of stock into keeping your word. 
“A man is only as good as his word” was often time quoted in our house. As a matter of fact, it was probably the number one rule (well, maybe neck and neck with never tell a lie.)
But to break a promise was a deadly sin.
My mother NEVER broke her promises. Even if it took some time to keep them.
When my father was diagnosed with cancer he lost his appetite. In order to get him to eat  she promised she would take him on a picnic.
You have to understand what that meant to my father.
He LOVED picnics.
And the way we did picnics was a ‘happening’. Not just going to KFC and grabbing a bucket of chicken. Oh no. Our picnics were extravaganzas.
We would cook and bake for days. Carefully pack the picnic basket. Fill up the Scotch cooler and bring a ton of stadium blankets to spread out on.
We would choose just the right setting, sometimes driving for hours!
It was an all day event!

My father didn’t make it to that picnic.
At least not in the conventional way.
When he died he was cremated, but my mother said she had to fulfill her promise to him before she could bury him.
The weather wasn’t conducive to picnics when he died so she had to wait.
She kept him in the trunk of her car. (I warned you about sick and twisted! LOL)
When spring finally came she packed a picnic basket, grabbed a stadium blanket (and my father) and took him on the promised picnic.
She said they had a lovely time, sipping wine, eating cheese and reminiscing.
She felt she had finally kept her word so she could let him go.
But I have to wonder, what did people think as they saw my mother sitting alone on a blanket in the park, sipping wine and talking to a metal canister!

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Babette

Old bunnies never die, they just fade away.
"Oh my! I feel like I'm fading!"

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Happy Dance


Doing a happy dance after my appointment with the oncologist! One year post op I’m still ‘c’ free! So I’m good for another six months! 
Yay!
Thank you for all your good vibes, virtual hugs and healing thoughts! It worked!

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

The Creamed Corn Incident

Ah, the creamed corn incident…..
There are certain moments we remember more vividly than others in our lives. The ‘creamed corn incident’, as it became know in family lore, is one of those moments.
I am a picky eater. Or at least I was when I was a kid. My standard reply to any new or unusual food that I didn’t want to try was “I don’t like it!” Even if I had never tasted it before.
That, linked with a food allergy, limited my food choices and must have driven my mother nuts.
Which apparently proved true one night at dinner.
I don’t remember what else was served that night, but I definitely remember the creamed corn!
It was served in pretty little pink bowls. And looked to me like something that had already been eaten and partially digested by someone else.
So naturally, I demurely declined when served.
(And by demurely I mean I stuck out my chin, crossed my arms over my chest and emphatically declared, “NO! I DON”T LIKE IT!”)
It must have been a very long and tiring day for my mother, because before I knew what was happening she jumped out of her chair grabbed the dish of creamed corn and dumped it unceremoniously on my head!
As I sat there, creamed corn dripping into my hair and down my face, my father very calmly turned to my mother and said, “What exactly did that solve? Now you have a mess to clean up, plus a kid to clean up. And she still didn’t eat the corn!”
To this day, I don’t like creamed corn!

Monday, September 26, 2011

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Fred

I have on my tap shoes. Let’s dance!
Fred

Venting


I’m so sick of going to doctors. Of thinking about going to doctors, planning to go to doctors, making appointments to go to doctors, getting tests in preparation of going to doctors.
I’m just plain ole fed up with doctors, nurses, technicians, phlebotomists, et al!
Thank you for listening.
The end.

Friday, September 23, 2011

Name That Monster


Help me choose a name for this poor guy! I'm totally conflicted as to which name suits him. Feel free to add any of your own suggestions! Thank you for your help!


Thursday, September 22, 2011

Still Another Creature!

Help me I can’t seem to stop!
I sit down to paint and they just keep popping out! LOL
Bigfoot (LOL)

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

‘Cakes

When the boys were small Husband used to give me a break on Saturday mornings and take them out to the local diner for ‘cakes (pancakes.)

Not only was it good for me (peace and quiet and an extra hour in bed!)  but it was also good for a little father/sons bonding.

The only drawback was that the waitress thought Husband was a weekend Dad, therefore available for pursuit.

This made for some very funny stories the boys would tell me when they got home!

Another upside was that they got really great personal service! LOL

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

???????????

Years ago I went to meet my mother and aunt for dinner at a local restaurant.
When I got there I looked for them.
I checked the bar, but I only saw two little old gray haired ladies so I turned around to leave.
I took several steps before I realized it was them!
I was totally caught off guard! I hadn’t realized that they were growing older.
I guess it’s like that when you see someone every day.
I tell you this story as a preface to what happened to me the other day.
I was walking along, minding my own business when I caught a glimpse of a, dare I say it (?) older woman’s reflection.
It actually took me several seconds to compute in my tiny little brain that it was MY reflection!
OMG
When did I turn into my mother?!
I look at myself every day, and yet I don’t really see myself! I see what I expect to see, not what’s really there!
 Maybe that’s a good thing for my sanity! LOL

Monday, September 19, 2011

I Had a Dream

I had a dream last night. 

I don’t remember what it was about except this guy was in it.
I wish I could remember. 
I want to know what he is looking at, what is going on and how it ends.

Don't you just hate that feeling when you wake up from a dream and feel very dissatisfied because there was no ending, no resolution?
It just leaves you hanging and wondering. 
Very unsatisfactory!

Damn subconscious! LOL

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Saturday, September 17, 2011

Talkin’ Powder

My mother grew up in a small town in upstate New York where they have a slight but very distinct accent. Coupled with her father’s (and Grandparent’s) English accent, sometimes certain words were difficult to distinguish.

So she was just slightly confused about her grandmother’s talcum powder.

She thought they were calling it ‘talkin’ powder’!

She would tell the story of how, for hours on end, she would sit at her grandmother’s dressing table, lean in very close to the powder can and try to hear what it was saying!

This story used to send me into gales of laughter!

I could just picture my mother as a young girl sitting next to the powder can and waiting for it to talk!

What exactly did she expect it to say?


Friday, September 16, 2011

Sketchbook Challenge


September’s theme over at The Sketchbook Challenge is “unfurling”.
A broad interpretation can be taken on this word, but I’ve been stumped.
I think I finally came up with something that could squeak in under that definition.
Husband’s fishing rod and reel. (Actually it’s just ONE in his vast collection!)
He does ‘unfurl’ it! 
(Kind of, sort of, maybe?)

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Another Creature


I’ve been trying to get comfortable with charcoal and pastels.
I like the smearing around and blending with my fingers part.
I like how they layer.
I like the soft ethereal look they have.
Now if I could just master more control and actually make the marks on the paper the way I see it in my head I’d be all set! LOL
I decided to try Carla Sonheim’s technique of layering colors and finding a creature, but with charcoal instead of water colors.
I broke off a small piece of charcoal and used it on its side and just sort of slid it around randomly. Then blended with my fingers. Then added color pastels, a little pen work and just let it develop.
I really like her eye, but I don’t like how her ‘fur’ looks.
(Note to self: work on texture! LOL)
Chloe

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Good Things Happen When I Let Go

It’s hard to remember that sometimes.
I find when I sit down to sketch, or paint or stitch, I try to influence the results.
This often ends up less than spectacular.
 But when I let go and relax and just let it be what it wants to be, the outcome is much, much better.
So why is it we can’t just let that happen every time?
Why do we have this overwhelming need to direct the outcome?
Or is it just me………………?
Can you say control issues? lol

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Another Scathingly Brilliant Idea Alert


I have another brilliant idea!

PEOPLE CHOW!

Comes in three delicious flavors: Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner.
Takes the indecision out of meal planning.
Never again be at a loss for the eternal question: 
“What’s for dinner?”
Simplifies grocery shopping.
Perfect for dieters.
A complete balanced meal in every scoop. 
Meets your daily requirements of vitamins and minerals.
You’ll never again have to worry about your cholesterol levels or your blood sugar.

I told you it was brilliant!

Monday, September 12, 2011

Creatures


I had some odd bits of watercolor paper leftover from 
Carla Sonheim’s Imaginary Creatures class so I decided to try and channel some new ones.

You just slop some watercolor in three different colors randomly on the paper. After it dries you turn it around and look at it from all four sides to see if you can 'see' an imaginary creature. Just embellish as desired and voilá!  

They don’t really look too inspired. (I’m not fishing for compliments, just being truthful.)

That’s okay.

It was a mind dump kind of day yesterday, so they fulfilled their purpose.
Bob Blob

Platypus with Green Turban

Red Rabbit

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Monster Repellent


When Son2 was little, he went through a ‘fear of monsters’ phase.

Not the usual in the closet or under the bed, but at his window (thanks to a neighbor who tapped on his window at 3AM one night!)

In trying to soothe his fears and help him deal with it we tried several imaginative ideas.

One was a NO MONSTERS ALLOWED sign on his window.

He felt that wasn’t quite sufficient.

So, just in case one got by the sign (because as he explained to us, not all monsters can read [silly us, that we didn’t know that!]) I developed “Monster Repellent”.

Under his careful scrutiny I mixed up a concoction from kitchen ingredients while explaining the importance of each component and how/why it was repugnant to monsters.

We then strained it and put it into a spray bottle.

He used it as a preemptive approach, spraying it around the room before he went to bed. And in case of monster emergencies he kept the bottle on his bedside table.


It worked pretty well. We never did see a monster in his room.

Although there were times when it got pretty soggy in there! LOL


Saturday, September 10, 2011

How Much?


Buying new tires for my SUV.

Friday, September 9, 2011

Money Holders through the Years


These are a few of the ‘money holders’ I’ve made as gifts for nieces and nephews over the years.
There is a drawback to being TOO clever though. Every year I’m expected to top myself!
I’m running out of ideas!  LOL
fabric fortune cookie ornaments, just fold a bill and slip it in!

flip flop, tuck the $$ under the straps

mini mortar board, tuck the cash into the bottom

mini purse w/snap, put cash or gift card inside

b'day cake slice, I filled this with chocolate kisses! (but it just as easily could hold $$)

these I used to slip Starbucks gift cards into and hung them on the  Christmas tree

this one I added a tea co. gift card for a tea lover

Thursday, September 8, 2011

The Clock Tower


One of my favorite blogs is bohemiannieart

annie!  is a very talented fiber artist whose art quilts and fiber books are happily infused with color and originality (take a look at her 'Jerry's Alligator' quilt, and her 'Happy For No Reason' fiber book!)


Plus she takes the most amazing pictures.

A visit to her blog will give you plenty of eye candy and fill you with inspiration!

This is my interpretation of her picture of THE CLOCK TOWER.

The Clock Tower

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

I Walk in Fear


I walk around the house in sheer terror of bumping my foot into something….again!
Why doesn’t she put on shoes you might be thinking?
Well, besides hating shoes and being stubborn, MY FOOT DOESN’T FIT INTO MY SHOE YET!
So…………………………………….
I walk in fear.
(Sounds like the title to an old 1940’s film noir movie doesn’t it?)
LOL  
Of course they'd have to be red. Clown shoes always are, aren't they?

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

The Mother Curse

You know that ‘curse’ that mothers lay on their children out of sheer frustration? 
You know the one, “I hope you have a child JUST like you someday!”
Well, my mother got her wish in son2.
He was……..an exasperating child. Smart, quick witted and wonderful, but had a definite mind of his own. In everything!
And stubborn beyond all reason!
Coming from a long line of stubborn people I guess he comes by it naturally. He has stubborn parents, stubborn grandparents, and stubborn great grandparents (both sides!) 
You can see where this is going.
All that stubbornness distilled down into one tiny little boy!
My mother was in her glory when son2 would try my patience!
She just loved it when I would call her to vent my annoyance at something he had done.
One day in total exasperation I called and wailed to her.”My God! How did you ever let me live?”
All I heard in response was laughter!

Monday, September 5, 2011

Cat Litter Conundrum


Tell me, what is the point of clumping cat litter IF IT DOESN’T CLUMP?
It’s not as if the whole bag was mislabeled. Or I bought the wrong kind.
No. 
It’s all from the same bag. And yet sometimes it clumps and sometimes it doesn’t.
And sometimes it cements itself to the bottom of the litter box!
So instead of being able to daintily scoop it out and dispose of it (as the commercial infers) here I am, rubber gloved and face masked, chiseling it out!
Kind of defeats the purpose!
It's times like this that makes me question the wisdom of having a cat. (LOL)

Saturday, September 3, 2011

My Mother’s Hands

My mother had extraordinary hands.
Long slender fingers, perfectly manicured nails and always, ALWAYS blazing red nail polish. (Revlon’s Million Dollar Red with matching lipstick.)
I have vivid memories of my mother’s hands.
Holding a cigarette in those long slender fingers always looked so elegant and graceful to me as a kid.
My husband says I have her hands.
I don’t think he could pay me a nicer compliment. 
(Except maybe chrome! LOL)

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Lies My Bother Told Me

I have a brother.

He is five years older than I.

When we were younger, his sole mission in life was to torture me.

And he did a fine job!

Because he was older, I idolized him. And I believed every word he ever said to me. It never occurred to me that he would tell me anything but the truth.

So when he told me that milk was cow pee, I believed him! (Hey, for a kid who is a little shaky on anatomy it made perfect sense! It DOES come from that general vicinity of the cow!)

Our mother could never understand why I suddenly started hating milk!

He also told me monsters lived under my bed. That they had long stretchy arms that could reach across rooms, around corners and down stairs. But they were afraid of rock and roll music, so to keep them from coming out from under my bed I had to sleep with my radio on all night.

To this day I still can’t dangle my arm or leg over the side of the bed for fear of being pulled down into the monster underworld! LOL

I still love him but I’ve learned that not everything he tells me is strictly the truth!