(Forewarning: You asked for this so don’t blame me!)
Husband’s job takes him into people’s homes.
It’s not always pretty.
On this particular occasion, as he pulls into the driveway he can already hear them inside yelling at each other.
It’s an elderly married couple.
They have been (and still are) drinking.
The little old lady ushers him into the house and says, “Go ahead and put your tools down.”
Husband politely declines because everywhere on the floor there are plies of dried dog feces and urine.
As Husband works, the old man settles on the couch.
His wife sees him and says, “Oh for God’s sake, Gerald! Your nuts are hanging out! Go put on some pants! The man doesn’t want to see your balls!
(it's at this point in the story I snorted iced tea out of my nose!)
I feel sorry for Husband on several levels:
He has a severe ‘cootie’ aversion, so the filth he has to endure must drive him batty.
Encountering people in various states of undress must be very disconcerting.
But most of all I don’t know how he keeps a straight face through it all!
“For God’s sake Gerald, your nuts are hanging out!”
How can you not burst into laughter at hearing that?
Or go screaming out of the house? (One or the other!)
Husband’s comment after proofing this post: “Yup, that’s my life.”