Renaissance Man

Husband is a Renaissance man…………. in a twentieth century kind of way.

It’s both amazing and annoying at the same time.

Amazing because he can do anything.

And annoying because he can do anything.

He has no fear of trying something he has never done before.

The thought that he might NOT be able to do it just never seems to occur to him.

He jumps in with both feet.

I’ve never seen him fail at anything he tries.

Case in point;

A few years ago the canvas on the boat began to fail.

We priced out how much it would cost to have it replaced.

After we got up from our faint, Husband said, “It would be cheaper to buy a commercial sewing machine and do it ourselves.”

As the sewer in the family I said, “I can’t do that!”

So he bought an industrial strength sewing machine and sewed new canvases for the boat.

A new bimini top with side curtains that have a gazillion different little pieces including zippers and flaps and isinglass and tabs, and snaps……

Then he proceeded to make the canvases that enclosed back deck. Also with all the accompanying snaps and zippers etc.

He has replaced all the canvas on the boat!

And saved us hundreds (if not thousands) of dollars.

He has also re-plumbed the whole house; ripped out and updated two kitchens  and bathrooms (from the studs out;) maintains all vehicles;  wallpapers;  paints;  landscapes; fixes anything that breaks in the house; maintains the pool……

See what I mean about amazing/annoying?

I LOVE that he can do everything.

And I’m jealous he can do anything!

You Know You’ve Got It Bad……

When you find yourself thinking, ‘Oh! I have got to draw the toilet!’

(Disclaimer: This is NOT my choice of décor! It is inherited.)

Scrabble with Tablet

I found an app that lets me play scrabble against Tablet. 

It’s perfect for me.

I get to play against an opponent and not look like a blubbering idiot.

Words with friends put way too much pressure on my little brain.

I’m the player that can only come up with three letter words.

I always feel like saying, “But I’m smart! I really am! I’ll show you my IQ scores!” LOL

I play in the evening, while watching the news with the Hubs.

After hearing the same depressing stories for the forty-seventh time it makes me want to gouge my eyes out and I thought this was a better solution.

Anyway…………….

One night I played a word that earned me 72 points! (a new high score for me!) 

I did an air punch and Husband asked why.

I told him and his comment was, “Is it set on easy?”

I just chuckled……but after having a moment to think about it I was insulted!

I said to him, “So the only way I can get a high score or win a game is if it’s set to easy?”

“Of course not!’ he said trying to back pedal…….

I let it go.

It takes too much energy to argue.

Besides, I checked and it’s set on ‘normal’!

The choices being very easy;  easy;  normal;  hard and very hard.

So there! 

Nothing Could Be Finer.........

♪♫♪♫♪ Nothing could be finer than be drawing with my liner in the morrrrrrrnin’ ♪♫♪♫♪

♪♫♪♫ ♪  No one could be sweeter than my Tablet when I meet him in the morrrrrrrnin’ ♪♫♪♫♪

♪♫♪♫♪ Where the layers pile up more and more and more ♪♫♪♫♪

♪♫♪♫♪  Whispering pretty colors that I so adore ♪♫♪♫♪

(Not that I'm patting myself on the back {she says patting herself on the back} but I just LOVE how this sketch turned out! Or maybe it's just because it's pink! LOL)

The Spider In The Corner

The spider in the corner of my bathroom

Has become a fixture I expect to see

He weaves his web of capture

With hopes of maybe catching me!

I can't bting myself to take tissue in hand

And flush him out to the sea

We’ve woven a kind of a friendship

The spider, the web …. and me.

Titles From The Menopause Library

It's My Party....................

I was browsing through the online TV guide today and I remarked to Husband, “I’m so bored with TV lately!”

After I picked him up off the floor…..he turned to me with a concerned look on his face and said, “Who ARE you? And what have you done with my wife?”

“Why do you say that?” I asked.

He replied, “You’re bored with TV, even your old movies. You turned off Easter Parade for God’s sake! You sit and draw and sketch and paint contentedly for hours on end. Without shredding it and throwing it away. You even LIKE what you’ve done! You go OUTSIDE! Into the SUNSHINE! I repeat, who are you and what have you done with my wife?”

So I told him.

I stopped taking my antidepressants.

And it’s WONDERFUL!

Don’t worry, I wasn’t on them for mental issues (I know, surprising isn’t it?)

I was on them because one of the side effects is they diminish hot flashes.

But when I found myself lying in bed at noon looking for a reason to get up and the only thing I could think was, ‘why bother?’ I knew I had to do something.

I think the meds had a boomerang effect on me.

They were MAKING me depressed.

So I weaned myself off and suddenly I have FEELS.

So many FEELS.

I had feelings when I was on them but they were mostly depressing and lonely feelings.

Now I actually feel happy.

Without forcing it.

It’s just there!

I haven’t felt this good in years!

I also cry at the drop of a hat, but after feeling mostly nothing I’m enjoying those feeling too. (I might be the only person who cried the whole time through Billy Crystal’s ‘700 Sundays’ on HBO.)

But it’s better than feeling dull all the time, so I’ll take it.

And I’ll cry if I want to! (Sorry, I couldn’t help myself!)

He Told Me His Name Is Hymie

He’s on his own after his family abandoned him.

I asked if I could do anything for him.

He said he’d really like a hat. So I took him shopping.

He was thinking of maybe getting pants too but as it turns out he’s not a jeans kind of guy.

Bermuda shorts don’t seem to be his style either! 

(thanks for the inspiration Corinne! ;)

HAPPY EASTER

I tried all week to come up with a 'cutesy' bunny but try as I might all I ever got were adolescent ones! LOL

Playin'

Just felt like splashin' some watercolor around...virtually of course!  

Come Out, Come Out Wherever You Are…..

It took me most of the day yesterday but I finally convinced him to come out from behind the tree.

He’s still is too shy to speak to me so I don’t know his name yet.

I’ll keep trying to find out.

Shy

I'd Rather Draw It Than Make It!

It happened slowly…..ever so slowly.

First it was an online class.

Learn to draw imaginary creatures.

Then it was a watercolor class.

Then it was faces…..

And more faces….

And even more faces.

And then one day she noticed….

the unmade bed and the way the sheets draped down the side…..

She grabbed her Tablet and drew it.

That’s when she knew she had the disease.

She had been bitten by the bug…..

Tank Traps

Who knows what goes through the minds of little boys.

When they were small the boys had a giant (to them) plastic shovel.

Husband used to bring it when they to the beach.

The boys would spend hours digging huge holes in the sand that they called ’tank traps’.

??????????????

When it was time to pack up and go home Husband made them fill them in so people wouldn’t fall in and break a leg. 

Great exercise for the kids, great entertainment for the adults! Win/win! 

Better Late Than Never.....

My belated birthday celebration with the boys.................
Went to the DaVinci Machines exhibit and then lunch at the beach on Anna Maria island.
A perfect day...........

Then, less than a mile from home, this happened.......

A paver stone smashed into my windshield!  :(

If Husband hadn't been so quick thinking it could have been MUCH worse. He swerved at just the right moment to keep it from coming through the side window and right at his head! Whew! 

The Zombies

We’re lucky enough to live in a part of the world where people come to spend their vacations.

Our neighborhood is a mix of permanent inhabitants and ‘snow birds’. 

Directly across from our lanai is one of these rentals.

Far enough away for comfort but yet close enough that we can see one another.

It’s been entertaining from year to year.

One time it was a group of single, middle age ladies who enjoyed cocktails and raucous laughter.

That was comical! 

This season Husband dubbed it ‘the year of Mr. & Mrs. Zombie’.

It went something like this:

Each morning at seven AM Mrs. Zombie came out for her morning cigarette.

We wouldn’t see them again until the afternoon.

Then they would come out, sit on the lanai and play silent cards.

I swear we never heard them utter a word.

I thought maybe they were deaf but they never used sign language either.

When the card game was over they would turn their chairs towards our house and sit and stare straight at us.

Again, never saying a word to one another.

It took us several weeks to finally figure out they weren't staring at us but watching the sunset! 

Totally Random Thoughts

When I was about nine I read the biography of Helen Keller. I was overwhelmed with this incredibly brave young woman who overcame such isolation in a time when society’s solution for anyone not ‘normal’ was to lock them away and pretend like they didn’t exist.

I used to walk around the house with a scarf tied around my eyes; cotton stuffed in my ears and try to imagine what it was like to be deaf AND blind. (I know, weird kid….)

In high school I once had to write an essay on whether I would rather be deaf or blind and explain why. (I don’t remember which I chose.)

When I was in college I took courses in ASL (American Sign Language.)

I thought I might teach the deaf, or maybe become a translator.

(When the teacher pulled out the video camera I bailed…….just a side note!)

There is no point to this……just my mind wandering as I try to get the world in focus this morning.

So I put it to you….if you had a choice or going blind or deaf, after having had the gift of sight and hearing, which would you choose?

My Rips, My Rips!

When son2 was little he had a habit of licking his lips, ALL the time!

He licked them so much he had a constant case of chapped lips.

I mean an angry red halo around his mouth.

No matter how many times we tried to tell him he was making it worse he didn’t stop.

It felt better when he licked them he said.

We tried anything and everything we could think of to help him. 

Chapstick, petroleum jelly, lotions…..all to no avail.

He was too little to be trusted to apply these remedies himself and all the goop in the world wouldn’t stop this nervous tic.

Because of this, whenever he ate ANYTHING that had ANY kind of spice or strong flavoring he used to cry out, “MY RIPS, MY RIPS!” (my lips, my lips!)

He began inspecting his food and asking “Does this have pepper?”

The tiniest of specks was suspect!

He finally grew out of the habit but as he got a little older he started carrying a tube of Chapstick in his pocket. (I can’t tell you how many times I had to clean out either the washer or dryer because I forgot to check his pockets first!)

To this day if you are ever in need of a dab of Chapstick (and you don’t mind sharing) just ask and he’ll oblige! 

Shoes Glorious Shoes

(My apologies to Lionel Bart and the cast of Oliver!)

♪♫♪♫  Shoes glorious shoes   ♪♫♪♫

♪♫♪♫  Pumps, wedgies and sandals  ♪♫♪♫

♪♫♪♫  While we're in the mood – ♪♫♪♫

♪♫♪♫  Flats, loafers and sneakers  ♪♫♪♫  
(I know it doesn’t rhyme, so sue me!)

Sunday School And The Pennies

I can’t remember what I had for lunch yesterday, but I can remember my first day of Sunday school.

My mother gave me five brand new shiny pennies.

But she neglected to tell me what I was supposed to do with them.

When I got home my parents asked me if it was fun.

I said a resounding YES, reached into my pocket and pulled out a fistful of pennies!

They were appalled, needless to say.

And of course I got the ‘talk’ about stealing, yadda, yadda, yadda.

I didn’t think I was stealing.

They passed around a basket of pennies for goodness sake! What was I supposed to think? When adults pass around stuff to kids you’re meant to take some of it aren’t you?

Like candy at Halloween?

I still remember being confused as they marched me back to the Sunday school classroom and I had to tell the teacher what I did and give back the pennies….all of them. 

Even the five new shiny ones my mother had given me! 

Hi From Here

Agnes

The salesclerk told her stripes were slimming, but she was beginning to have her doubts…….