Husband Made Me Do It

That’s right, it’s Husband’s fault! He made me do it!

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it!

(It may also be a little bit Diana Trout’s fault too! LOL)

Samsung Galaxy Note 10.1 Tablet

The Curling Iron

My mother had a thing about little girls with curls.

(She was fond of reciting the verse, “There was a little girl, who had a little curl, right in the middle of her forehead….lol)

She would try and coax my pin straight hair into girly ringlets with a curling iron.

Back in ‘the day’ curling irons weren’t the cute little plug in jobs they are now.

They were long, heavy things that you heated up on the stove. (Yes, I really am that old!)

So, as my father stayed upstairs getting ready, my mother and I would trudge down to the kitchen to ‘do’ my hair.

I would sit on a stool next to the stove; my mother would heat up the curling iron, grab a section of hair, roll it up in the iron and have me hold it until it cooled. She would use the cooling time to multitask, doing the breakfast dishes or whatever else needed to be done.

One day as we were in the middle of this routine, my father came downstairs, shaving cream still on his face to ask, “What is that God-awful smell?”

My mother spun around from the sink, took one look at me and exclaimed, “Oh my God! It’s her HAIR!’

And there I sat, dutifully holding the curling iron as it burned my ‘curls’!

My mother grabbed the iron but it was too late. I still ended up with a huge ‘bald’ spot on the side of my head.

That day I got my first ‘pixie’ cut.

Thinker of BIG Thoughts

As a ‘Thinker of BIG Thoughts’ I’ve decided to let you in on the inner workings of a BIG THOUGHT THINKER.

Ready?

Hang on! LOL

Making artwork is very conducive to ‘mind wandering’ (aka zoning out.)

I use this time efficiently to ponder the great questions of our day.

One of these great questions popped into my head the other day so I decided to do some research to find the answer.

Here is the answer to the burning question that I KNOW has been on your mind.

DRUMROLL PLEASE…………………

Out of ALL the people in the world 7,053,253,595 (aprox.) those who have internet access 7,017,846,922 what percentage of the human population read my blog?

ANSWER: 0.0000014% (also aprox.)

Here’s the pie chart that represents my readership:

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(well, it certainly keeps me from getting a swelled head!)

And I am unreservedly thankful to each and every one of you 0.0000014%!

I JUST EXUDE LOVE

So, Husband and I are sitting in traffic on Black Friday (don’t ask) and I happened to look down at my arm and I see, glistening in the sunlight, this shape that an errant arm hair has formed.

Can you see the heart?

 All together now…..awwwwww.

I’m not sure if it’s cute or creepy but it’s definitely funny and it took our minds off the traffic and all the nut jobs (like us) that were stupid enough to be out on Black Friday!

(I wonder, does this mean I've officially run out of things to write about or am I just really easily amused? )

Embarrassment 101

Picture it, first grade show and tell.

The teacher is sitting first seat, first row as I regale the class with a fifteen minute monologue on my brand new, shiny, black patent leather Mary Janes.

I was so proud of them! 

I went on and on about how they measured my foot with that weird metal contraption, how nice the salesman was, how my mother allowed me to wear them home AND I got a lollipop!

I was on a roll!

The teacher could see how excited I was and when I finished she said, “Come over here and let me see!”

I paraded over to her and proceed to throw my foot up on the desk exposing my pink flowered panties for all the world to see.

The class began to giggle, but I was still clueless until the teacher looked at me with pitying eyes and said, “No Robin, I meant come around the desk and show me.”

It was then I realized my faux pas and as the class burst into guffaws of laughter I slinked back to my seat, blushing like a ripe tomato.

It was a long time until I didn’t get teased with ‘I see London, I see France, we ALL saw Robin’s underpants!’

Sir Cyril

Sir Cyril was humble about his knighthood. 

He never wore his insignia  in public, choosing instead to wear his favorite checkered tie. 

And he blushed quite brightly when addressed as Sir Cyril. 

HAPPY THANKSGIVING

Save the Date

Gift Shop Explosion!

Saturday, December 15, 10AM-2PM

SUPPORT LOCAL ARTISTS during the holiday season! Peruse handcrafted items in the gallery created by artists normally found in our gift shop. Alliance members receive 10% off, and all purchases enter you into a raffle to win Bruce T. Gora Sunday Concert Series tickets. This is your perfect chance to find unique gifts for that impossible to shop for person on your list, and support local artists!

@ Alliance for the Arts

10091 McGregor Blvd. Ft. Myers, Fl

If you are in the area, come on down! I'd love to see you!

Bobby’s Home!

I was so excited when Husband brought in the mail on Saturday!

There was a package from the Netherlands!

Whooo hooo!

“Bobby’s here!” I exclaimed.

Husband looked perplexed so I ripped open the package with abandon to show him.

The very talented artist/illustrator (and I’m proud to say my online friend) ‘Pia Drent’ painted this little fellow and the instant I saw him I knew I had to have him!

I emailed her and asked her if she was going to list him in her Etsy shop and when she said yes I impatiently waited and swooped in like a vulture the second he was listed!

SCORE!

I just LOVE Bobby (Pia named him and I think it fits him perfectly!)

He will find a more permanent home soon, but for now he sits right in front of me on my desk, and I smile every time I look at him!

 I was so excited I’m afraid I didn’t take ‘before’ pictures of the packaging or of the ‘unveiling’.  (My bad! LOL) 

Thank you Pia! I'm thrilled to have Bobby and I promise to give him a loving home!

My Father Had Idiosyncrasies…..

Oy Vey, did he have idiosyncrasies!

One of his habits was picking up ‘fuzzits’ from the carpeting.

He used to bend over constantly and pick up little pieces of lint from the floor.

(A habit which I am distressed to say I have inherited, but I digress.)

 Anyway…….this habit didn’t really have any impact on me personally. I mean, if you want to play the ‘bend and stoop’ game, go for it! It was probably the only exercise he got anyway! LOL

Like I said, this habit didn’t have any personal impact on me until……..

I was having a pajama party. 

Ten pre-adolescent girls all in our jammies, playing music much too loudly and giggling like crazy.

I guess my father just wanted to check up on us and to tell us to quiet down.

No big deal.

Until………as he was going back to his bedroom he bent over to pick up a piece of lint from the floor.

Did I mention he slept in a night shirt? (sans underwear)

And not a floor length one!

As he bent over the night shirt rode up and…..well…. I think I’ve painted enough of a mental picture, you take it from here.

I’ll say one thing though, it certainly quieted us down!

(I'll spare you the illustration on this one! You're welcome! LOL)

Update From BigBrother

I’m sorry to say we won’t be hearing any stories from BigBrother.

The two stories he remembers (you read that right! TWO whole stories from our entire childhood!)  revolve around my boyfriends and he says he doesn’t think they would be appropriate to tell.

I take full responsibility for getting your hopes up.

I apologize profusely.

Dr. Newhart

I liked going to see Dr. Newhart when I was little because he would give you a lollipop every time (no matter how much you cried!)

But he was very sneaky about it.

He would come into the room with both hands behind his back and ask which hand had the lollipop.

It didn’t matter which hand you picked, he would always give you the one with the lollipop.

And as you were happily tearing the cellophane off he’d nail you with the syringe that he was hiding in the other hand!

When you finally caught on and were feeling the pain from the needle, he’d point at your mother and say, “She did it!”

When I was older (and thought about his behavior) I asked my mother why he would blame it on her. It seemed kind of mean to me.

She said it was because you’d have to forgive your mother but not necessarily the Dr. and he didn’t want his patients being afraid to come see him.

I still can’t decide if that’s good psychological medicine or he was just tricky! LOL

I Walk the Line

It’s a fine line between comfort and paying the electric bill.

We keep the thermostat in the house set at 78°.

Anything cooler and the bill goes through the roof, anything warmer and I walk around with puddles in my sneakers.

If it gets really bad and I can’t turn off the sweat machine I go out and run errands so I can turn on the air-conditioning in the car and have all the vents aimed at me.

 I look like a dog hanging its head out the window with its ears flapping in the wind, except I’m inside and the windows are closed!

Totally Rational Behavior

And this is why I flush the toilet a gazillion times after disposing of the ginormous prehistoric monsters!

(I have nightmares like this, lol!)

BOOM!

Son1 was just two years old when my mother finally got around to burying my father’s ashes.

It was an intimate ceremony. Just a handful of people in a small local church cemetery.

We were all being very solemn for the occasion, except Son1 who had no idea what was happening.

The minister said a prayer as he stooped down to lower the box into the ‘grave’, but at the last moment he lost his grip and dropped it.

As it hit the bottom of the hole it made a loud thud.

Son1 said in a loud two year old voice, “BOOM!”

We all looked at one another uncomfortably not quite sure what to do in this awkward situation, and then, as if on cue we all burst out laughing!

My mother said it was my father who made Son1 say what he did.

He was always one to go for the laugh!

Sometimes Finished is Better Than Nothing

You know that saying ‘Done is better than perfect’?

I’ve taken it a step further…..’Done is better than nothing’!

I seem to be in that cycle of everything I touch turns to s**t mode lately.  (And it doesn’t help that I need to be getting ready for a gift fair in December!)

But I’m trudging along anyway. 

So, in the name of truth in blogging I’m posting the shitty posts/illustrations anyway. (Just in case you think that everything we do is supposed to be good, here’s the proof that we ALL stink sometimes!)

This is just a silly little memory that popped into my head the other day.

I was watching King Kong (the 1933 version) on TV. Well, not really watching but it was on in the background.

And it sparked a memory of the first time I saw it.

I was at Phyllis Davenport’s house.

And the most vivid memory I have of Phyllis Davenport is how I envied her hair!

(Side note: my mother always kept my hair short and in a ‘pixie’ cut. She thought it was cute.

I always wanted LONG hair that would hang down and brush the ground when I tipped back on the swings like Phyllis Davenport’s hair did!)

I can still remember how she would lean way back as she pumped on the swings and her hair would flow out behind her and brush the ground.

I have NO idea why I thought that was so cool.

Looking back on it now it’s kind of yucky! LOL

So here is a totally lousy illustration of that memory: 

But I had to get it out of my head and down on ‘paper’. (I’m not fishing for compliments so please don’t feel obligated to say anything nice! LOL)

Please Stand By

Gone to the creative ‘gas station’ to fill my tank.

Be right back!

Another Curtain Critter

Any idea what his name is?

Lost (the first generation)

I was about five years old.

My mother and I were shopping at Macy’s. 

She left me in the toy department with strict instructions NOT TO LEAVE, she would be right back!

So of course I left.

After alerting the management to close all the exits and thoroughly searching the store they finally found me, perched on a stool in the men’s fitting room, happily chatting with a gentleman who was being measured for a new suit.

In this day and age I guess that would be a whole different situation, but back then it was all very innocent.

My mother thanked the man for being so patient and understanding, grabbed me tightly by the upper arm and dragged me out of the store.

I’m sure I got a severe talking to when we got home.

 I KNOW she never left me in the toy department alone again!

Like I said, I have NO idea where Son2 gets it from………;)

Lost

Son2 used to have the most annoying habit of ‘slipping’ away from us when we were out in public.

 (I have NO ides where he gets it from----she says whistling and looking innocent!)

Something interesting would catch his eye and he’d squirm out of our grasp and be gone in the blink of an eye.

This habit didn’t worry me when we were in places that I felt were relatively safe and confined, like the bookstore. If he wandered off I could usually find him in the children’s section.

So I was caught off guard one day while we were in Barnes &Noble when over the loudspeaker I heard, “Robin, please come to the information desk. Your son says you’re lost and he can’t find you!”

HE wasn’t lost, I was!

Gotta give him credit for resourcefulness! LOL.

Curtain Critters

One of the drawbacks (or maybe it’s an advantage, I’m not sure which……lol) of having an overactive imagination is that I see ‘things’ everywhere.

As I sit and think BIG THOUGHTS, I often stare out the window through these sheer curtains. 

Except I don’t stare out at all.

I look AT them.

And I see all sorts of things.

Critters mostly.

So I guess I’ll call them my ‘Curtain Critters’!

Gotta' love digital drawing!

Sandy’s Aftermath

These are pictures of our old neighborhood up north.

My thoughts and prayers go out to all those who are suffering through this horrific devastation.

The side yard between our old house (on the right) and our neighbor.                                  

The caption on this one said: "Our neighbors house burned to the ground." I don't even recognize which house this was!

Our neighbor's shed that floated down the block about five houses!

This is our old backyard. The water didn't usually come up quite that far!